some people would see my life and think I don't have it too bad..some people would see me and think I'm happy. but I'm not. the exact opposite as a matter of fact. I'm not happy about anything going in my life. I've always tried my best because you know they always say hard work pays off. Yeah well I call bullshit. Doesn't matter what happens I still remain alone locked away in the prison I've built for myself. some people don't understand what mental illness does to a person. I keep myself isolated cuz I'm not in the mood to deal with people. I'm honestly just disturbed with the world we live in. I have nothing to look forward to or be happy about and I honestly wish I could just go away and blow by like the wind. I live everyday feeling dead inside. I could seek help sure...But the illness inside me keeps me from reaching out. it's hard to explain man.