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Today I really had to pee because of a bladder infection, but the only cabin not occupied was a bladder infection. When I got out, a tiny old Lady stared at me like I just murdered about a thousand babies and started screaming at me that I used it when she obviously needed it more (She came in after me and seemingly had the time to shout at me for four minutes, so it couldn't have been THAT urgent.), and she really got into my face, I was afraid she'd claw my eyeballs out and I got pretty angry after a while, even though I'm a very calm person. Also, we had a huge audience. So I just said: "Sorry, Madam, but I spent the whole day yesterday having SM hardcore sex with my girlfriend and her strapon was way too huge for me. I really need the handle bars to get up again because my ass and vagina are so sore." That shut her up. I proceeded to wash my hands with soap, fix my hair, and then I left the bathroom happily humming. It was a complete lie, but the looks the people had on their faces were pure bliss to me.

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  • I only use handicap stalls because I'm claustrophobic but one time I accidentally kept an old lady in a wheelchair waiting at walmart.

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