I hate gender roles. But at the same time I'd love to just get married early, live creatively from home, have the perfect house, the most beautiful garden and view. I want three kiddos and a man whom I love, feel attracted to and whom I can rely on for the rest of my life. I want to be my husband's best friend and lover.All in all, I want THE perfect life. But my family is really emancipated, and even though I feel like I want to be, too, I can't help but wanting the more traditional way of life. I'm ashamed of myself, and feel like having to accomplish much more than I am eager to.