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I really hate myself. I really hate my life. I really hate the way my brain works and i want to put it all to an end. I am suicidal since i am 3 or 4 years old. The people around me always thought it was a joke, so i stopped talking about it for almost 14 years, i only talked to a few people about it, but now it's really hard to not kill myself. I really want to, but i am afraid to fail and i hate the thought about my family falling apart afterwards. Why are there people that care? Why can't they just hate me? What did i do to deserve this?

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  • How does one get suicidal at that young? I thought little kids didn't even know what it meant to not live. I didn't understand it til I saw my grandma pass at 14 tho I know I was a late bloomer but still I didn't think anyone got the concept of mortality until like 8 or something. Anyway I'm sry that people are taking it as a joke. You are still pretty young I'd imagine you got a lot of time to wait for your life to get better. Being as old as I am I get depressed too but you have to hang on as hard as it is. You may not think you find what it is to keep you inspired to stay fighting bc you haven't yet but you will. Even tho I'm depressed and even without thanatophobia at this point I do have reasons to live.

  • There's always something to live for. You just have to find it.

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