sometimes i just lay on the living room floor, listening to my favourite sad songs, drinking, smoking, singing and crying. sometimes i miss my father so much that my chest almost burst. sometimes i'm so depressed that i think "killing yourself to be with him, coward! no way!" sometimes even drugs, dancing in the streets of a great grand city are not enough to make me forget. sometimes i wish i'd be a bit more dumber. sometimes i wish i'd not understand what it means to be alive, breathing, loving and caring. sometimes i wish myself would be a bit nicer. maybe one day there'll be someone who makes me recognize that the world is not spinning around me but the sun.