i don't like being the center of attention....that day was the day my teacher had to ask who wanted to do the storytelling competition for next week's event.Knowing no one wanted to participate, he decided to choose my friend.She of course.. didn't want to.And then my other friend, i'm going to call her "E" for now on... suddenly out of blue ,suggested me.i'm not that brave to do it. i mean i hate storytelling and , in English?!! English is not my first language..i still have so much to learn. I told my teacher that i didn't want to do it.But.. what ?! He didn't care.He wanted me to do it... i was so angry toward her. My friend (E).. did that to me.. she (E) felt guilty after knowing and wanted to have a word with the teacher.But somehow.. i didn't want her to do it.. because i had a feeling that my teacher wouldn't let it either.Nobody in class wanted to participate..i thought i could handle this.. maybe i should have just faced it no matter what.. damn.. but i was terrified yes.. and confused.. should i? My cousin who was also my classmate.. she was also forced to participate in other competition.We had a talk , but i was annoyed by her saying that i should have been more relieved than her because what i faced was much more easier than hers.. and when i told my mother about it.. she said that i could gain more experiences.. First my friend and then them.. who else? i felt so hopeless.. my mother reminded me almost everyday to prepare the storytelling. Nope..lf i didn't want to do it, will i care it would go well or not? Time was almost up.. yeah.. i never prepared.. the day before the stupid competition came, i was told by my mother to do preparation.I told her,"Should i ??" Yeah you should.. something like that on her face.." alright i do it" was my answer. . i was terrified , what story should i tell? It was complicated and so hard.. i couldn't remember what words should i tell and plus was chased by the time.. i was walking in circle in my bedroom .. hopeless.. scared.. and i kept looking to the mirror.. asking "what should i do??" to myself. until dozen of times and i was crying..But i stopped as my mother came in my room, "Just choose already" face again.But how should i choose.. it was too short.. i couldn't do that .. it had to be five minutes story telling.. but that one was too long.. i hate it...she went out. And again i had to the circle walk ..Again i felt hopeless. i cried again... also.. i couldn't stand it.. my mother wouldn't let me not to go to school.. she just won't.. i thought maybe i should have just escaped from the house.. and went to my cousin's house..But that was night time.. it was too dangerous.. there could be some criminals.. out there.. but what should i do?? And then that voice came out suddenly nowhere.. it was terrifying.. i was sure it was my thought but i couldn't deny that it was like someone talked to me...i just couldn't believe i thiught thay" Kill yourself"....i blurted," Are you crazy??'" ..But no one there of course....Stupid... i was the crazy one.. it was just your thought.. i reconsidered the solution though.. i knew it was a bad thing.. maybe i didn't have to kill.. but hurt a bit.. i thought they'll know what i feel.. it was some sort of a sudden plan.. i wanted to go outside.. to get a knife in the kitchen...but i tried to stay still inside the bedroom.. not to go that room.. i didn't want this.. God didn't want this.. just as i wanted to walk and get that knife.. that door creaked.. my mother.. she was standing there..she said," what are you doing??".. i froze.. and couldn't answer.. but i didn't want to alert her, so i told her instead about how i hated it... how i don't like it.. i just... don't want to care anymore.. i went to bed after that...i wish icould forget about this..