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My mom just got out of an extremely abusive relationship with my dad. I'm turning 18 this year, and have a little brother who is 8. My dad has abused all of us both psychically and mentally for as long as I can remember and my mom for a good 20 years. Let's just say that the only crime he hasn't committed is murder, yet - he is after us ant wants to murder my mom. He has said so before, threatened us all and tried but failed once. My mom is now struggling to get custody of us (although I can choose for myself now that I'm soon of legal age) and we don't want to see him ever again and we will move far away from the city I'm in atm. We've been hiding and living in fear for a year now and have moved 4 times during that time. I have developed post-traumatic stress disorder because of what I've been through and everything is slowly but surely coming back to me. I haven't been to school for almost a whole year now and keep blaming every problem I encounter on the PTSD. I feel extremely sorry for myself and I hate it because I DO have friends and adults who support me. I'm also the girl that get hit on a lot, is quite good-looking, have a strong personality and intelligence (I was pretty much a straight A-kid before everything fell apart), a very talented piano player and I'm quite good at expressing myself in art. See my problem? I'm not bragging, not at all - the things above are the only things I've heard but I still have such a low self-esteem. To be honest, I'm baffled that I don't have anorexia yet. I hate my body for how it looks (yet I don't think I'm above 140lbs and I'm 5,7"). I can't believe people who say the like me - as friend or in another way. I feel like I haven't accomplish anything during this past year. I'm lazy as f*ck. And I hate myself for publishing this because I'm pretty damn sure I sound like the worst attention wh*re you have yet encountered. "She has so much that other's don't - how can she be unhappy?!"

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  • dear anna, I know this situation way to well. I've been trough this too, but my memories didn't come back (or my mind is still struggling with them without me noticing). stay strong, you will make it. don't be too harsh on yourself, you are beautiful and amazing the way you are. and no, you don't sound like an attention wh*re. you've just been trough a lot and tell your story. everything will be okay, I believe in you. <3

  • You really have been through a lot, an abusive start in life can get your self-esteem buried deep down. You are a strong person for getting through this. Keep on going and stay strong! You sound to me like a great person. Maybe to kick your self-esteem up and to deal with the ptsd some help from an therapist if you don't have one. Xx

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