I had to leave my birth country and loving family to escape being sent to the mental institution and being married to a guy 11 years older than me, I was 15 at the time. Back then, I was human fire. Alive with emotion, love, pure ecstasy with an open heart. Yes, I admit that I've done some evil things, but they were done out of the love I had for my friends, my family and my boyfriend at the time. It was true love. Now I'm a monster. I can't feel anything anymore, I don't empathize at all and I can't help fantasizing about the most horrific things and it's killing me on the inside. I can't be "normal" with people and make friends like a normal girl because I have no idea how to connect with them anymore. I can't stop drinking, f*cking and killing what I can, when I can. The only person in this world now that makes me feel human again is a guy I've only known for only a year, but he turns the flickering ghost of my heart into the flame it used to be every time we meet. You'd think he's the key to bringing the light back into dark eyes right? Too bad. He's leaving in less than 2 months to go to college and I'm dreading what I might become.