I was feeling empty and sad; so, I smoked weed and cigarettes, drank, ate unhealthy foods, and watched movies constantly in an attempt to fill the void. It didn't work. It made me worse. But I just kept on smoking and drinking and being lazy. Now my mind has been so out of wack for so long that I feel I've wedged a wall between my boyfriend and I. He loves me, but I'm no longer me... I have to get myself back.