Do you know how it feels to be at death's door? Thrown there by people you trusted? My brothers hated me, my mother would constantly beat me and everyone at school wanted to kill me because I was Asian. I had no one and I've had many nights where I sat with a knife to my neck. Things are better now, but every now and then like tonight, I feel like stabbing myself in the neck. It's getting harder and harder to resist. It's been a long 23 years.