İ seem mostly ignorant to any stupid kind of issues in daily life, and my friends get mad at me and wait for me to apologize several times, otherwise they wont talk to me. İ ignore them and they think i am a cold blooded bastard. But i feel so much pain at night and cant go to sleep easily. Sometimes i want to hug someone maybe a stranger but i find myself huging my pillows and try to cry. Some days, at night every regret every hatred every bad decision Simply every bad thoughts start blitzing into my head and make me feel horrible about life.i feel lost and alone those nights.