There's a saying in this world that there will always be someone better than you in everything, and it is a fact. It leads me to the thought that I am replaceable then. What is the point of me being here? What is my purpose in life? Why do I learn various things in school and where do I apply it? Why do I have to survive? What do I want exactly? I just know I want to live a life full of adventure, thrill and danger. I feel delight whenever I know I am being chased and will be punished if I'm caught. Though I don't want to do any crimes nor harm someone just for pure enjoyment/pleasure. If I do, I want to continuosly contribute in the same time something brilliant and good to the side I'm standing with... I think I'm not suited for this era. I think I should be where there is war, and I am part of it (a citizen of one of the warring nations/states). Education back then was sought after since it would give you an edge in those times to avoid death and conrtibute good for the safety and development of the country hand in hand. In this period, we only all learn to get a job and only help our country earn more money to progress; life revolves more around money presently... Besides, I'm content with the way things are as of now. This time is the perfect balance of not being too primitive nor too advanced. After all, too much of anything would cause our eventual death or destruction. This leads us to survival. I thought at first I survive to help people but then when I do, they take it as natural. It is sometimes even not acknowledged or is seen as harm. I tried multiple times but it cause my body sometimes pain/sickness. Pfft... I have to take care of myself first as consequence. So while I am gone convalescing or whatever, others do the helping. It returns to the start then, proving I am replaceable. It makes me feel empty. People said to me I easily feel happy to anything and everything. Unknown to them, my too much happiness isn't really happiness but emptiness.