I don't remember how to be happy. I can't control anything. Things just happen. I sincerely want to stop existing, and death is the worst way to achieve that goal. I want to tell you how i got here, but i can't. I want to express directly how i feel but i honestly don't care about my feelings. I just write what comes to my mind. So, sorry for confusing you. But this was really important to me. I hope that you guys are happy, i remember it was good.