I just finished high school, and I've got no idea what I want to do with my life. I only have around ten friends, none of whom I see anymore. The first and only girl I ever seriously considered having a relationship with is a decade older, told me I am like her younger brother, and dismissed what i feel as simple attraction. I want to go abroad, but no one supports me. I have no parents, I live with my grandfather. I need to apply to a program soon, and I'm scared that I'll make the wrong choice. I'm scared that I'll live my life out, in a job I don't like, with a girl I don't love.