I have a problem. I forgot my past relationship completely. I know it was abusive and I know he cheated, had unconsentual sex with me and choked me out multiple times. He was melodramatic and I was constantly walking on eggshells. However, I was immensely jealous after our relationship started breaking down, I always looked at everything I could find. Ironically, I always confessed to my snooping out of guilt. Not the smartest idea. At some point I started losing it completely because the pressure was too much and after he ran away and, when I found him, threatened to kill himself I broke down and hit my flat hands onto his head so many times he had a bruise that was bleeding on his head. Considering I was only 15 and turned 16 it was probably too much stuff happening in this relationship which is why I forgot everything else. But I can't help but blame myself to this day. I think the reason why I can't stop trying to remember stuff is because I am afraid that I was the abusive one. Maybe I was the one who tortured him so much he became a monster. I don't know... He was 18 at the time so technically he was an adult but I can't help but think that I was the one who destroyed him. enough rambling. sorry you had to read this nonsense.