When I was a teenager, I my teen-depression phase was pretty strong. I thought about suicide and hated myself a lot. When my teen years ended, I became normal again and it was really nice to know what happiness feels like again. But then it came back. I hated myself again, wanted to be dead. I now notice it's getting better again - but I'm not happy, I am afraid. Afraid that my whole life will consist of phases of either normality or depression.