i have a serious facination. ..obsession of death and have had for almost 2 years. i am not suicidal just obsessed with what they will find amongst my belongings after i die. what they decide to do with my body. . who comes to my funeral. will i know i am dying at the time? I'm 20 years old and its costantly as in ALWAYS ON MYMIND 24 7.. please help me . is this normal?