Sometimes I wish there was an easy way out of life (not suicide). I am absolutely terrified of my future. I only have 1 friend and the only family I know are my mother and grandfather. If something happens to them I will have absolutely nobody. I'm only 20 and that's a really young age to have nobody. I don't make enough money to 100% support myself and I don't know enough people to ask for help. I try not to think about it but i'm a natural worrier and I can't help but cry about it. It's scary especially with how easily a life can be taken away. There have been times where I wish I would have a heart attack and die or die in a car crash. Obviously I don't want my life to end like that but I don't want to be alone and probably homeless the rest of my life either. I don't want to live a life without the only 2 family members I know. I'm crying right now as I type this. I don't even know the names of most of my extended family and I don't know the whereabouts of any of them but I'm pretty sure most of them are not located in the same state let alone this area. Last family member i saw other than my mother and granddad was my cousin and that was over 7 years ago.