Take it off your chest...
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I tell my friends "if you need me, text me, call me, let me know, I'll be there." And I fuss when they don't let me know they need someone. I tell my friends "but it's not good to pretend everything is okay." And I fuss when they argue. I do my best to make sure they are happy. They all deserve so much happiness. But I won't tell them when I need someone. I won't tell them how long I've been hanging on to any thread of happiness I can find. I won't tell them that I feel like falling apart sometimes. I've tried to open up to other friends before. Any I've been ignored and told that I should just be happy. By friends who understand what it's like to just need someone to talk to. I've been called an ass for the way I felt about a situation(i was upset about being thrown out of my comfort zone on my birthday). I've texted a friend that I needed her because I needed to talk to someone. She was fine about coming over until I told her I didn't want her boyfriend to come because I wanted to talk to her alone. Then she ignored me and stayed with him. So I make sure my new friends don't have to deal with that. I make sure my new friends know that I'm here for them anytime they need me I often get called mom or big sister. But I just don't want them to feel like I'm not there for them. Because I know how that feels. So I keep my bad days to myself... well as much as I can. I put on a smile, as fake as it is. I claim I'm tired on days when I just can't fake the smile anymore. I fake homework or the need to study when I have to get out of a social situation because I can't save face any longer. Because I've been told one too many times to just get over something "because it's not that bad!" That they are going through worse. And I get that... but does that automatically mean that nothing gets to me? Guess so. So I'll bury it down. I'll hide it all. I'll be the "happy caring friend" if it means that none of my new ones feel the way I do now.

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  • Don't do that. My friend does that and I hate it. She demands that I'm always honest about how I feel, that I come to her for help, but she always want to lie to me about her feelings and won't ask for help. It's so irritating. Friendship goes both ways. If your 'friends' tell you things like that, they're not real friends.

  • Usually, people like that are just unlikable. Look, people don't like listening to other people's misery because they don't know what to respond. And it's often not easy to understand what's bothering someone if you've not been through it or knew how to deal with it naturally. That's where bullshit phrases like ''have you tried not being sad'' or ''just cheer up, it's not that bad'' come from. Not because they hate you, but because they don't know what else to say. Especially if you have unordinary problems like mental health issues or if things bother you that other people usually don't go through, like family problems or abuse. And I found that people who complain about never being listened to, just either complain too much, not only about problems but life in general, or are obviously mentally ill - so one day you are just sick of their shitty negativity, and you don't want to deal with them because you don't want to be involved in their suicide or something. Or they never complained in the first place. They didn't really make it clear that they wanted to be listened to, so nobody ever had a chance to listen to them and comfort them. It's not always the other's fault, buddy. Just articulate yourself like a proper human being, don't be overly negative and stop forcing your own miserable state just because you want to have an excuse for being sad.

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