I'm in a relationship with my one of my best friend, we're both girls. Thing is there's a huge gap between us, sexually. We haven't had sex with each other or with other people but compared to me she's innocent. I've masturbated since I was at least 10 and I've read a lot about sex. I just like to read stuff in general and this is going to be useful so I thought why not. I've read about m/m, m/f, f/f, lots of things about bdsm, instructions on how to give head to guys and girls, generally everything I could find. And my best friends know that because we sometimes talk about sex. Thing is I make a lot a jokes and say lots of stupid things just for fun without meaning them and lots of them are dirty. I want to have sex with her, but I don't want her to think it's just because I want to have sex in general. I want to make love to her, tear her apart and put her back together, I just love the sounds she makes and her reactions when we're kissing and I want to make her feel good. But Idk how to tell her - not these exact same words, the gist- I'm afraid I might seem creepy. And I'm afraid she will reject me or break up with me. And I don't know if I'm being paranoid because I'm fat and queer and have issues with those to and I'm always paranoid with anything that's remotely related to any of those and this situation is related to both. Why tf do I get so nervous? Fuck. Can you guys help me? How can I bring the topic on without seeming creepy?