I'm so scared. My cat has worms, which isn't a super huge deal, but I'm taking him to the vet. That's all fine and dandy. But a few days ago he started having trouble peeing, and basically if it's not a urinary tract infection, it's most likely something really awful, possibly even cancer. If something is terribly wrong with him... I can't afford to fix him. I'll have to put him down. He's only 3 years old and he's my first real pet, the first animal that is only mine and not my family's. I love him like a son. I know it's stupid to panic over something I'm not even sure of yet, but I can't help but be afraid. I barely make $200 a week, and after paying my bills, that doesn't leave very much to work with. I have maybe a couple hundred to spend on the vet, and I know those greedy bastards charge out the ass for the smallest thing because they know people will do anything to save their pets. But if it comes down to spiraling into debt or losing my cat... I have to make the wise decision. I already have student loans to pay off, I can't afford another massive debt. I just hate this whole situation. I try my best to take care of my animals, and still things like this happen. I just feel like I can't catch a break and life is just spitting on me after kicking me while I'm down from being shoved to the ground like the worthless piece of trash I am. I just pray that my cat will be okay. I don't know what I'll do without him.
I feel filthy. I wish I didn't have a mind because I keep imagining all this gross stuff without wanting to and I really, really hope I don't blurt out what is on my mind to some random person since sometimes I feel like I can't keep it under control. I hate that I keep saying things because I won't get them back no matter what and I just hope that people don't hear me. I wish I could be invisible. I'm small so most people, I think, don't notice me but I still wish that people who saw me would forget my face. I wish I could erase myself totally but I don't think you can get rid of a soul even if you die. I don't know anything.
I have very few options. First option is becoming an alcoholic, living on the street and decaying under a bridge as a happy man, second option is suicide, third option is considered being strong and living at the ablsolute minimum, working for something i dont want for the rest of my life to feed the greedy mouths i apperently owe to. But how is controlling a dead shell to feel its pain considered fulfilling? i wonder. So keep telling the crippled to walk, see how far we come.
I ruined my life by not applying for apprenticeships early enough. I already wasted 2 years after school by going to college even though I knew a few weeks in that I won't be able to get a degree. I knew I wanted to do an apprenticeship almost 2 years ago, and now I realized that I am too late and have to wait another year. But I'm already not going to college anymore, so I'll be doing nothing for one year, maybe I'll be able to find a few jobs, but I'm not very optimistic because that already didn't work well the past few years. I don't know what to do.
I just realized why I feel so distraught. I didn't take my antidepressant this morning.
I feel drained, empty and just..not here. I feel I have let my guard down and have been proven indefinite. I am naive. I am needy. But, that's just how I am I guess.
Could really use some advice. I don't really have friends and would really like to make some, problem is that I don't have good social skills and struggle with depression. I've always been quite quiet but have tried to make more of an effort recently. It's not been going well, I went to a few meet ups and because I get so anxious socially, especially with new people, I find it hard to make eye contact and my responses are either short and awkward or rambling verbal diarrhea. I'm so lonely. I'm embarrassed, angry and upset with myself for not having friends. So if anyone has any tips to help me become more likeable or how to make friends I'll gladly take it.
I think i might have depression...but i don't want to admit it. i usually think about suicide and have random ideas how i could kill myself but i can't do that.. everyone thinks i have a good life, that everything is ok because i can hide it very well. I am so tired.. sometime i really don't want to wake up.. this pretending is so exhausting and i get angry at every little thing and every person and my bad acne is making it worse... i don't even want to get out of thr room.. i hate myself..
I will never ever take prozac again. After stopping it, I felt tired then my doctors would ask me to come back again for a medication to stop my sleepiness. Medicine sucks honestly. I took a medication doesnt work anymore gets a new one. I took a medication stop it and gives me another to supplement the withdrawal, then stops that supplement then a withdrawal then another supplemented medication. It never stops. It's a linear infinite disaster. All I just want to stop is living in a western insensitive society. I want real care and love and not answers to solve pains immediately not the kind of care just because it's their job and they have to. Opinion wise, it makes people grew weaker that everybody had become even more disconnected. this quote, "in a beauty there's always a forgotten mystery, and this mystery will never be found because now that everyone looked at the beauty than both beauty and ugly."
i don't get it. why people are so mean even if they don't know me. i've been depressed so a quite some time. i seek for help but nothing. and when i finally find this application, i just want to write. i just need to let it out of my chest. but some people just have to be cruel and rude with their comments,huh?! for what??? you don't know me. i don't need your cruel comments. we don't know each other but your comments hurting me..you don't even know what i've been through. you know, words can kill people. maybe people like me...people who's in depression. becareful..be very careful with your words! if you don't have nice things to say, you better shut up. to all people out there who likes to comments with cruel and rude things in here, i hope you'll be forgiven. you don't know that your words can cause someone's death..