how the hell do you move on from someone when youre both still in love but cant be together because of my exs families views on me not being from the same country?
All I want for my brother is to at least treat me like his sister and respect me as a human being. He's always grumpy of me, I cannot talk to him nicely. He always wanted me to go away. But if he wants to know something or wants to get something to me, he's even bother me on my most busy times. I don't mind. I don't mind anyway because if I do he'll ask my mom what the fuck is my problem. The thing is he's the problem. I can't even tell him these because he won't listen, he'll use his so called Philosophy degree towards me. He won't care and he'll just say, "okay okay now go away." I know he has depression and I understand it but he doesn't have to be a dick to me to show me that he has that problem. He needs help, he probably needs medication but again, he uses this Philosophy mindset that made his life even worse. I think Philosophy is a great thing but using that to every simple things just gives life a bit of conflict. At least he should think like a normal human being. I feel like that degree he pursued went all over his soul. He's so quiet and nice to other people and to our close friends but at home, he's a huge ass hole. I wanted to leave home, I wanted to go. I wanted to stay away from my family and be independent. I mean my reasons towards moving away might just be beyond my brother's attitude but yes it's also my brother's attitude. If he can't move out then I will. I'm just trying to find a way to get a job that provides health insurance since I have a disability that requires a constant care to the hospital. But really... I never understood why he's this abusive to me why he can't treat me nicely. I wanted to know if I don't exist in his life what will happen? I mean I know for sure our friends will ask where was I but mostly I think he just doesn't care. But I want to leave anyway, I just want to stay away from him. All my childhood he was like this. Ever since I have my first memory....
i was sad and down yesterday. i hate it. but im glad that there also some people who living like me so i wont feel alone. and i dont get it why people around me can live their life so damn fine while im trying so hard to at least not cry in a day. i ever tried to tell my friends about what ive been through and stuff but they didnt understand. i really hope today can end well. good luck for us today, lets start our day and eat delicious meals. lets make ourselves happy although for me today is not such a good day ;(
i wanna have friends. i do have friends but still i feel alone, and im afraid to be in friendship thingy knowing everyone come and go and that always happen when i just accept them as my close friends. and i also dont have a boyf yet i feel so empty. i have no interest in my college things also ewh im tired
My life is so hard that I want to start consuming drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. ... I want to cut myself in pieces and I can't stop fucking crying. I want to run away from everything and everyone and just be alone. i haven't told this to anyone & was keeping it in myself up untill now. Please tell me what to do I want to kill myself & I tried couple of times...
I sometimes repeatedly say to my self I love you and try to imagine that someone else is saying it to me. Sometimes I cry after doing that because I think that no one will ever love me (romantically) because I am too ugly
I really love my best friend but because she is the prettiest and most popular girl in the school and has a great body and next to her I am invisible I am very jealous of her. I secretly wish she would gain 30 pounds and start looking very ugly and I get prettier than I am now so everyone would start saying I am better than her and all the boys in my school would want to fuck me
I wish I could make the people I love understand that I'm not always an asshole to them because I hate them, but because I'm stressed. That I'm not giving snappy answers because they annoy me, but because I want to get to my room as fast as possible because the tears are already coming and I don't want them to see me cry. That I don't never make time for them because they're unimportant; it's just that I don't even manage to get out of bed to take a shower, let alone leave the house. That I don't seem to not enjoy the time with them because I don't love them; it's just that I don't enjoy ANYTHING anymore. But no matter how much I try to explain it, they keep taking it personal and I can't even blame them. You can't understand this kind of shit if you're not living it.
The last couple of weeks have been horrible for me because of bad stress at work, and the only thing that kept me going was a party I was going to go to on the upcoming weekend, which I was really looking forward to. I don't often have the opportunity to go to parties, so I was madly happy about it. But now I'm getting sick. This is so damn unfair. Not just that I'm missing the party now, I'll also have to go to work sick next week because that's the most inconvenient time to call in sick (let's just say that if I weren't at work next week, that would mean more trouble for me than dragging myself there with a fever). But it could still happen that I'm sent home by my boss, and then I would still have to face all those inconveniences AND missed the party AND be stressed out as hell... it just sucks to be me at the moment.
they say im amazing and perfect and anyone would be lucky to have me. then they leave while they say leaving me was the hardest thing theyve done, why does this shit always happen to me. it always ends in my heart breaking