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I'm having incestuous thoughts about my siblings again. Damn me! It's so gross. I don't want anything like that for real.

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  • Sounds like intrusive thoughts. They don't mean anything but if they bother you seek help for them.

  • There's a difference between sometimes having weird thoughts and really having a problem. If it doesn't affect your relationship with your siblings, it's fine. But if it does then I agree that you should see therapist to sort it out.

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I flick the bean about five times a day. How shameful.

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  • That bean must look like a well worn speed bag by now!

  • I used to masturbate 3-4 times a day. Never felt bad about it. Only empty and lonely sometimes

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When my friend who I hadnt seen in a year committed suicide, I blamed myself. I still do. I have saved so many of my friends from the same fate, I dont know why I couldnt have just saved him too. I stopped talking to him, somwthing I regret. He started as a friend of my boyfriend, my boyfriend did some stuff and I left. I didnt want to make things awkward so I cut ties. Its my fault he is dead. When I first learned he died I told my mom and she said sorry for your loss before getting mad at me for not emptying dishwasher. I yelled back and her response is the thing that has hurt me the most. "You'd think after his death you would treat the people you love better" When I talked about this with my therapist I accidently told my mom how much this hurt and she gor mad at me again. She apologised but I feel it was only to make me shut up about it. Shes right afterall it is my fault. But it still hurts.

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  • It's not your fault. It is no one's fault but his. He chose to end his life. It is not your job to save everyone.

  • It is NOT your fault!

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My baby boy died inside me, strangled by his umbilical cord. He was due December 16th, and even though I'm not suicidal anymore, I can't bring myself to eat or take care of myself. I want my family to have a good Christmas, but I want no part of it. I wish everyone else could experience it joyfully, but I want to tune it out to survive. Even though I don't want to kill myself anymore, the pain feels like it will kill me anyway.

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  • That is painful to read. I am so sorry that the best I could be is to be sorry about it. Grief is natural, don't give up. Survive through this.

  • Hang in there, you can get through this. I'm glad you want to survive because you're important. Sending virtual hugs to you if you want them.

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My baby boy died inside me, strangled by his umbilical cord. He was due December 16th, and even though I'm not suicidal anymore, I can't bring myself to eat or take care of myself. I want my family to have a good Christmas, but I want no part of it. I wish everyone else could experience it joyfully, but I want to tune it out to survive. Even though I don't want to kill myself anymore, the pain feels like it will kill me anyway.

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I'm afraid to lose my job because I'm sick too often. Theoretically they can't fire you because of that and my bosses aren't assholes, but the problem is that I practically can't do my job properly if I'm not there for a certain amount of days, at least in their opinion. Which is a reason for firing me that I can't argue with.

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  • Maybe talk to your doctor about how to prevent you getting sick? Maybe take more vitamins or drink more water or wash your hands more.

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Listening to the radio on Saturday night always makes me sad because they're playing their "special party mix", which just reminds me even more of how I'm sitting at home, all by myself, while other people are partying and having a social life.

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  • I'm not. Partying is overrated, honestly. A bunch of people sit around and get wasted listening to shit music. ...Lame. Sitting at home and doing literally anything else is so much more fun.

  • Everytime i'd force myself to go out because i felt lonely i never regretted it. Whats the worst that can happen .. having fun?

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I have relized my dad has done ALOT of emotional damage to me. If I'm with someone who Im really attached too, I get really upset when I'm left alone. Even if they just went down stairs too hang out with some friends which is verry sad. It dosent help that he just left me alone in a house when I was little to go get drugs the first night I was there. I couldn't call my mom or anyone cause I was mabey 6 or 7, no access to a phone and I was 2 hours away from my mom in another town. All the times he called saying "I'll come get you this weekend, I promise." And then I sit outside practically all day waiting from him not to show. All the times he wrote me from jail saying "You're my baby girl, I love you, I'll change. We can have a normal father and daughter realtionship." Then I get my hopes up but then nothing changed. Its always the same. Now he wonders why I never answer his calls. I use too say "Oh, I hate his guts. Hes not my dad" But deep down I wish he was there for me..

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  • forgive him find a way to show him life is better than any drug he will always be your dad i feel bad for you and what you have gone through hold ur head up lead by example think positive never let doubt enter ur mind

  • Life must be hard for you when you're little, he had hurt you a lot. Still he is your father, if your heart tells you to talk to him, I think you should, maybe over the phone for a stat. Your father aren't getting younger or healthier. I really wished he changes for both of you.

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I'm done I'm done I'm done

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I dont think people close to me realize that what they say i take very personally. And i've started to develop mental issues because of it

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  • Tell them.

  • You take things too seriously, i have the same problem. Don't give such opinions much value or tought.

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