I had unintentionally been ignoring my friends because of the hurt they unknowingly caused me. I know it’s my fault that I fall asleep in class and make a fool of my self and they are just trying to help me by advising me but the way they put it hurts me a lot. I don’t care about others but I care about their view on me bc we’re friends. I’m now struggling to reply to them and honestly, I think I just made a rift because of all the internal hurt that has been compiling in me. I didn’t want this to happen but I caused it. I’m a shitty friend for doing this. This sucks too much and I’m coward because of I’ve been phobic of closer relationships since my falling out with my one of best friends. I don’t want a repeat of that. I’m shitty and I own up to that. This may seem minor but these internal battle I have been facing for so long has made me do rash decisions. I’m sorry guys for being a coward. I’m sorry for not being enough. I’m sorry and I hope one day we’ll forgive each other because I can’t trust you guys yet, not wholly.
it feels like my life is falling apart and i dont know what to do
I wish I could ever not understand any kind of situation in my surrounding in order to stop myself from being considerate. It balances yet kills my mental to the point where I feel like wearing some bandaids on my head and slicing my own brain at the same time.
the moment he told me that he would only come to visit if bad things —such as my death even was mentioned— happened is the moment when almost my entire sanity broke into pieces.
i am tired of understanding the fact that we living being has emotion. the way it works is full of paradox and irony, both positive and negative, and I am tired of always be the one to understand it most.
This may sound like a joke but please know I'm being completely honest here and just need help. My sister has incestual feelings for me. she's twelve years old and I just turned seventeen. I don't know if this a phase she's going through, or if she's just trying to get a reaction from me, but I've been feeling really bad. She constantly turns whatever conversation we're having into something inappropriate. She asks me if I can kiss her on the mouth so she knows what it feels like. She asks if I want to see her undressed. A week or so ago she came into my room and molested me in my sleep. And when I woke up, she kissed me on the mouth and I was just frozen and didn't know what to do. I've been avoiding her, and quite frankly I am afraid of her. I've told her several times that brothers and sisters can't do that, but she said she read a book about a brother and sister who did these things together, so she thinks it's fine. I don't know who gave her the book. I'm actually crying now because I just feel so sick and I don't know what to do. Our parents are dead and we live with our grandmother, and when I told her about my sister, she laughed. I don't know how to fix this.
I got three Whisper app and within 15 minutes a 23 year old guy asked me to do that stuff with him. I ended up sending him pics and eventually blocked him. This happened within 6 hours. I'm 16. He said it would be our little secret, but I'm too scared to lose my virginity and so I blocked him.
i wish i was beautiful
i miss her so much
sometimes i wonder if i made a mistake.