I'm really not sure if I can keep it together this time. I have lost everything more than my share of times but ive always been able to bounce back and rebuild my life. this time feels different, it hurts ten times worse than any other time. I can't eat or sleep. I have never felt so hollow inside. I'm honestly afraid to be left alone but I can't expect my friends to sit with me 24/7 . I have never been afraid of my own thoughts. I try to ignore them bit at night when I'm alone I can't hide from them. I don't want to feel this any more
I'm a fucking failure in life. I can't seem to keep a job for longer than 2 years. I have a husband that would rather be playing house with his submissive than me. My kids don't call. I don't see my grandkids. I'm a horrible housekeeper. My life fucking sucks ass. I have no friends. I have no life. why am I even alive?
There's no hope for me, I'm completely lost
. you got your revenge. it took a long time but your attaks were coldly calculated with blows that cut like razors fast and deep. I never stood a chance. and I deserve the agony I feel in the wake of this defeat. I brought this all upon myself the first time I betrayed you. the first time I hurt you the first time I failed you. this pain is of my own doing and I must now suffer it. through the pain and tears and only through them am i able to see the beautiful darkness that your plan of battle posses. A masterpiece that would have been the envy and downfall of leoneptis himself had you been his adversary. for not even the fierce leader of the mighty Spartans could have foreseen the pure tactical genius that was your last strike, your final death knell. your ultimate goal through this entire battle was not to leave me dead on my shield it was not to provide me the honor of centuries of noble wariors before me in their place of valor. but to cripple my body and soul so severely that no dignity remains within and will never be restored. you never wanted me to succeed in my efforts to prove my love loyalty and respect to you. from the instant I failed you the first time
I looked porn up on my phone in a church basement we were camping there
Why do I always have to ruin every single relationship by being so insecure?! My mind plays tricks on me and I hate myself for it..
I give up.. give up with myself. I cant do anyting worthy. i dont want to give up with my life. but with my future... Im so done with myself..
I'm always horny.. I'm always turned on and can get off to almost anything. I get off almost every day and watch any variety of porn. From basic at home porn to freaky kinky shit. I disgust myself. why can't I go a day without thinking about sex? I just want to be a normal woman. Sometimes I think it's because I'm a virgin, but other times I think I'm just a huge perv... (this may all sound fake but I swear it's true..)
If we were all ugly then that would be fine. But why am I the ugly sibling? My both sisters are above average and I'm below average. They get called beautiful in front of their face. And people would get shocked if they found out we were siblings bcs I look 'different'. By different, I don't look attractive like them both :(
I love Rose Namajunas from the ufc i think about her a lot even tho i try not to, and most of the time i am upset and very sad