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Heavy heart Emotionally unstable I don't usually feel like this But every time I did, i always want to drop everything and leave and do nothing But i didn't because I'm a coward

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  • I have felt similarly. I have bipolar/schizophrenia. On my down days I couldn't get out of bed. When I'm stressed I want to run away, even now when I'm medicated I still wanna run away.

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Somehow I wish karma existed so I could just do a bunch of really nice things and then the bad stuff that keeps happening to me stops. Or maybe I'm wrong and it does exist and I just don't notice that I'm a horrible person who gets what they deserve.

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  • Karma kinda exists? But you can't do good things just so good things will happen to you... that defeats the point of being 'good'. Because at that point it's just being selfish? idk how to explain, you just have to do things out of kindness

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Ah damn, I actually rely on imaginary friends to try and feel less lonely.

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  • Same, but I'm a writer so I get to act like they're for/from my writing. Its a good excuse, would recommend it.

  • Nothing wrong with that tbh

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A (long) while ago, I posted on here that I might have cancer. Since then, no cancer was found, but also no other cause of my symptoms. I'm closer to a diagnosis now, but I'm also quite sure that it will be something bad. And who knows, maybe I won't even get a diagnosis and my symptoms just get worse and worse - either way, I have little hope that my life will be worth living a few years, maybe only months, from now. Because I'm getting worse. My biggest wish is to be wrong about this, to be sitting here a year from now and writing about how I can't believe how hopeless I once felt because all is fine. Everyone who's remotely healthy should feel really grateful for this.

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everyday, I had to witness my mom and my dad fighting. I'm so done. I feels like I want to ...

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  • Find a good time to talk to your mom and your dad, seperately at first. Tell him and her how you feel how it breaks you apart. Your father , your mom, their foght is not your fault. If possible please talk to someone, a school counselor or close relative and friends. Please, you can go through this.

  • to die... but confesster censored my words. thanks

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I don't know how I'm supposed to make it through life. Every day I wake up and then I'm just laying there, trying to gather the will and courage to get up and go to work. It's especially hard on Mondays, where I often am so miserable and afraid that I want to cry (I'm just too tired to do so). Then it's 8 hours of frequently looking at the clock and almost getting a break down because time passes so slowly. The only days that feel worth living are weekends. I know that some of you will tell me to get a new job, but it's not my job that sucks, not that itself. At least I think so; I can't imagine doing something else for a living. What really makes me so miserable is the whole human interaction connected with it. The pressure of not screwing up, of not looking stupid, interacting with bosses (which all of my colleagues are because I'm the newest). I seem to lack the natural understanding of what is appropriate and what is not, so I often get myself into awkward situations. I really hope that this will fade when the years pass, that I will become more experienced and therefore less afraid. But until then, every day will be torture.

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I've been an addict for 10+ years to this filth it's ruining my life. I've quitted multiple times but I always, always go back. It's really hard to quit but I have faith. There is not going back, not this time. God, give me strength..

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  • You can do this, write down your achievement, when you are fighting those addiction, How hard and still you are able to overcome it, and when there's time when you ate so close of using that filth again, open those notes, remember how you have come so far ahead, and refuse yourself to touch it again.

  • You can do this.

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People say it's okay to not know what you want to do or what to not know what you want to be as far as the age of 40, i hear it all the time but the amount of pressure and stress my mum puts on me is unreal, and I'm only 17. She threatens me all the time that I'll have to marry young and become a housewife if i dont choose a career path soon. I know she means well but little does she know her words are detrimental and heartbreaking. She tells me i don't take school seriously and i just go for the sake of it but truth is, i'm just as confused as the next kid.

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  • Your mom is just afraid that you'll screw up your future and that fear makes her behave a little irrational. She means well, but she's wrong. Try to not listen to her. There will always be someone who tells you that the path you choose is wrong, and if you always believe them, you'll never be happy

  • I know how you feel. But she's wrong. I spent my high school career aiming myself at a career in music education, even joining the music honors society, just to change my mind at the tail end of senior year and decide I wanted to do art. It's 3 years later and I've come full circle: I have no idea what I want to do. And that's okay. It's okay to try different things to see what you like. It's okay to make a choice, and then change your mind. It's okay to get a degree in something, and then decide you'd rather do something else, so you go back. It will be okay. You will be okay. Nothing is set in stone.

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I can't stop thinking about my ex with his new girlfriend. I loved him with all my heart, i thought he was the one. He took a part of my soul with him. I feel so empty. I just wanna recover from this, I'm trying so hard but i just can't

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I hate myself with the burning passion of a crematory. Everything about me sucks, I'm short (In statue as in my pants), hairy, and have medically-proved bad skin (I actually tried to fix that, only made it worse), a lazy eye and ugly teeth. But that's only my body, I've got no real, practicable skills, at least in my opinion, yet strangely, people say I'm arrogant, even though I hate myself and see no reason to be arrogant or even proud about anything...I don't even have the self-esteem to politly decline anymore... But shit does not end right here: I'm living in a family where problems are usually solved by wishful thinking instead of actually handling them, so everything is a huge lie, so we all seem to be mentally really broken people, which everybody knows but nobody dares to speak out loud. The only thing keeping me from ending it all is the - rather ironic - fact that there is actually one girl who unconditionally loves me, but I do not want her to have a relationship with me based on my pitiful need for approval, that's equally bad for her and me...I mean, I love her, but from day to day I feel more like I'm using her as a metaphorical 1-up for my self-esteem, not treating her as a real person, and she really deserves better than me.

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  • The first step to make your life better is incredibly easy: stop saying you're bad. Don't say it out loud, don't write it down, don't think it. If you catch yourself thinking it, try to think of something else. It seems useless at first but after a few months,you actually stop getting the urge to talk badly about yourself and start to be able to get a sober look on yourself. You'll always hate parts of you, but eventually you'll be able to like something, too.

  • You see the problems you can fix and acknowledge they're there, so fix them. Stop beating yourself up, first of all. You'll never get anywhere by constantly talking about how much you suck and how you hate yourself. That's probably why people think you're arrogant: they assume you do that for attention, just like cute girls who post selfies and say 'I'm so ugly :(' to get compliments. Secondly, if you have no good skills... learn some. No one is just... good at things. Skills come from working at something and constantly improving it. You have the power to change yourself. So do it.

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