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I had an anxiety attack - maybe it's not the proper term for what I actually want to describe, but I don't know how else to name it - at a family celebration yesterday. I always get cranky at parties because it's all too much for me, I normally need a break after 2 or 3 hours of human interaction, but parties usually are longer. There are also drunk people who are standing too close to you and touch you - something that makes me very uneasy and sometimes even panic - and a lot of grandma's and uncles and also strangers (friends of the extended family) who ask questions that I don't feel comfortable with. But yesterday, all of this hit me even harder than usually. Especially when a few people made fun of me for sitting in a corner, or when one aunt of mine came and told me that I should "get my shit together and not be such a killjoy" (as if I hadn't tried all my life to be different) - it just all broke me down. I had to go to the bathroom several times to fight back tears, had trouble breathing, and I felt this strange sense of total panic and "I have to get out of here". I snapped at a lot of people and went home early (which caused a huge fuss because I got into a fight with my mom about not being allowed outside late at night alone, so I called an Uber and had to go back to the party until it arrived). I heard a lot of people talk about me in both concerned and angry voices. I am too afraid to go down and see my parents because I know they want to talk about it, but I don't want to. I am so endlessly ashamed for being like this and wish I never had to see any of them again.

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  • It must been a very hard time for you. It might helps if you talk to one or two of your family member who understand this illness, so they can explain to others, and you have the right to go back early or refuse to join these type of party if it makes you feel this uncomfortable. Please be ok, and try not to think about them anymore. People who really cares for you will understand you.

  • That does sound like social anxiety :( I suggest getting therapy if you can... I'm sorry this happened. Your family should really be more understanding. None of my family has ever had the kind of party where people get drunk and stay all night, idk why your family is like that. Don't be ashamed of feeling uncomfortable. Don't let them make you feel bad for being overwhelmed. Yiur mental health is important.

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I'm failing my classes in college, I have no time for sleep, eat and do things that makes me feel human. I have no friends. Ever since I started college I haven't made any friends I can be close with. I was still at home manipulated by some conservative rules. My job don't pay enough for me to even afford living on my own. I don't even have a boyfriend. Now I'm gaining weight, growing lots of pimples, and is extremely depressed. My parents told me to live all those goals one by one. Finish college first and then the others. I always know happiness is pursue not given. So I want to pursue them but one thing I don't know, does pursuing them take a long time or not? Does pursuing happiness even mean pursuing success? What is success?

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  • success is different for everyone. what's your definition of it? who do you consider successful? someone with lots of money? high social status? lots of free time? someone with a lot of friends? someone happily married with children? only you can define what success is for you. and if college isn't going to bring you the things you want then maybe it isn't for you. i'm not ssying drop out. i do believe in education. but for some people that isnt the right course of action. college does not guarantee success. it opens some doors, but ultimately for some, it can be there downfall once the debt from student loans accumulate. happiness is not the same as success unless your definition of success is happiness. but I would say that happiness is not given or even pursued, it's created. you create your happiness. things can get in your way. difficult things still happen and i'm not saying you'll be happy every second of every day. but you decide what makes you happy and you choose to have a good attitude. go after whatever you think is best for your life but don't listen to people who aren't where you want to be, chase YOUR dreams, not someone elses. the people you consider successful can help you get where they are, but those who aren't there will do everything to bring you down, even if it's unintentional.

  • Don't listen to your parents. You can pursue several things at once. You can get an education and still have friends or be in love. Humans need social interaction.

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I've just now realized that I have a mental issue and need help. I've always known that I'm not completely normal, but always brushed it off by saying "what even is normal, after all". In my teen years, when it was kind of "trendy" to say you are cutting and depressed and what not, I felt like a horrible person who's just looking for attention. Later I also thought, well, maybe this is what life is supposed to be like. But I've realized it's not. I have problems. I am not normal. Just wanted to tell that someone.

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  • Take care of you. Get help if you can

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Ok guys that are taking meds: I'm one of you and I need advice about getting my sex drive back.

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  • stop taking those meds

  • Please please please talk to your doctor. Every person will react differently/need different solutions.

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my head makes me go crazy. it took me long to get over my first girlfriend. had another one. broke up. hear that my first girlfriends mother died. wrote her saying i was sorry. met an absolutely stunning woman, that seems so much cooler than i am. had a date with her. think only about her, but she is reluctant in showing affection. first girlfriend writes again after a month to tell about her situation. dream about her. dream about five other women. have weird sex dreams and dreams about terrorist attacks. perform really good at university, my brain does not give me a reward. i dont know where my feelings are.

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  • So... you had a life and some weird dreams?

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One of the main characters dies in my tv show, im crying. R.I.P Bobby Singer

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  • everyone dies in supernatural. only some come back.

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I'm so sick and tired of believing in a catholic religion. My parents always force me to go to church, pray the rosary... I want to leave sooo bad. I wanted to quit college, work, and just that. I want a peace of mind from school stress and them telling me to do this and that. I don't believe in that religion for a sole purpose of trying to know what I really believe in. And I should've went to mainland for college if it werent my mom sabotaging my application then... But it's too late.... I'm living lies from other people just because even my inner self is a lie. My belief is a lie. I pretend that I believe in a catholic religion when I don't. Can't they just let me go? I want to leave... I'm fine being homeless if I could because fuck these people.. As much as I want to respect the people and the religion but I can't because even the people that cares for me don't even respect me.. well fuck you all catholics and fuck your shit!

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  • I find the ritual chanting really tedious. I suspect it was designed to memorize doctrine. I find Bible reading more interesting. I like to question the origins of the traditions. Why a doctrine exists is so much more fun than just what it is.

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Im a huge shut in and super anti-social. Im trying to change cause I have a 6 month old and I dont want to be like me. I want to have friends, have habits he likes to do outside so hes outside and be happy. Hes my world and I hate seeing him upset.

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  • Maybe try a friend-making app like Bumble to find people around you that have common interests. There are lots of moms there and you might even be able to find a playdate for your son. Try new things, you might find a new hobby you didn't know you liked.

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Being an adult is very hard to me. I can't cope with the stress of doing the stuff that I need and want to do.

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  • so am I

  • I feel the same. I hate that every basic thing gives me anxiety.

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I had a dream last night that I tried some heavy drugs and then tried to look for and murder my friend with a knife. She was hiding from me. I found her, but I thought about it and decided against it, feeling monstrous and leaving her. I then ran into my boss from work, and some employees from the company who I'm contracting, still obviously fucked up on drugs. I felt like my life fell apart, and that I became less than human.

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  • I once got drugged w/ a molly and i felt less human then too. really weird.

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