Im literally so in love with Rose it hurts, i literally in so much pain i can't stop thinking about her and wishing she was her and she knew my name , she's the prettiest girl in the whole world her voice is the sweetest ever she's a absolute genius and she's the most realest martial artist, her body is crazy she's like a superhero, she's so open minded and intelligent and intuitive. honestly she's just incredible in every possible way and i love her so bad it hurts
my best friend is now avoiding me and trying to make it look like he's not. if you don't want to be around me, just say it to my face instead of making excuses. it'll be less painful that way
I don't understand why people cut themselves. the girl in having sex with she's 14 an she cutting her self. as soon as i saw the scars I pulled out. asked her about it she just shut down didn't speak about it. then she said her grandparents tell her she is no good she worthless. an there i am laying naked next to her an in just holding her. I'm just there holding her as she cried. I knew sex was over right there. I just held her until we feel asleep
my biggest fear is that I'll never be loved.
My tooth is cracked, it was cracked for a while but i ignored it. now the piece if moving around becase its stuck between the teeth and im in pain. im just realizing that my bad breath that gives me insane confidence and self esteem problems and why i avoid talking to girls is probably from this, this thing is probably infected and it hurts when i chew i feel so stupid and irresponsible and gross, i feel like no one else lets shit like this happen to their teeth only i do cuz im gross and i ignored it and im terrified of the dentist im so scared i hate it so much i just hate going but i can force myself kinda i know i must just from the relief i will get i know they maybe will fix it but honestly the way that im feeling, like a burning infection-y gross feeling, i would be ok with taking it completely out T---T thats probably wont happen tho.(its one of my back teeth not from smile i guess) can i ask to sleep for dentist??? i would love that honestly... when they put anesthesia, i always stay feeling still, and i hate it, im so scared of it. i think im so scared because im so alone i feel like no one loves me or cares about me and i dont have enough strength to deal with when it gets bad because of being so alone
My dad got me a car when i turned 18 and made driving school. they kicked me out of the house and i sold my car, but then right after they let me live with them, even tho i already sold it. i had no plans with my life at the time or goals or role models, i feel like i completely just wasted that money in the stupidest ways possible. now in times like these, money would change my life, theres things i need to be doing, that i cant rn because of money. im stuck at home in toxic environment, everyone is stuck at home but some are in a positive environment, with ppl they trust and love.
I wish I could text you and tell you I'm sorry. I never wanted us to end the way we did. I had nothing but love and admiration for you. I would've followed you into the very fires of hell. I wish we could've met on equal grounds. But your path was full of destruction and chaos. I wanted to save you from that and you know this. I saw you try so hard. But you cant deny your nature. And I couldn't fight mine. You were hellbent on creating madness and disorder while I tried to fix the sins of my past. God I loved you! I wanted us to be together! But it wasnt possible no matter how much I wanted it. I never wanted to hurt you! It's been almost a year now and not one day goes by where I dont wish things didnt end horribly as they did. I want to reach out to you. Apologize to you. But even now, I'm too far gone in my own path to reach back. You have your daughter, and I have mine. I can look, but what was is gone. I love you. My Friend. My heart. My Noah.
I just need to isolate myself, that way I can't be a bother or a nuisance to anyone
I was actually starting to make some progress. I hadn't properly hated myself for a long time. now I've relapsed, all because I had to be an annoying asshole
I am drunk, I am lonely. I am fucked. Some one help me. Tell me I'm not alone. I want Jason.