Covid-19 is making it so easy for me to hide from the world. I don't go out unless I'm forced to, like an appointment or I ran out of food (after 3 weeks, and being things I can't get on delivery). It's so cold in the house and I want to be out in the sunshine but I'm so lazy, getting dressed or showering is 'too hard' so I stay in bed or on the couch and do nothing. At least with my ED I'm not getting fat. *eyeroll*
desejo que minha mãe morra todo dia pra que haja paz dentro do meu lar.. sei que não é certo, mas é melhor sofrer de saudade do que viver de inferno
i'd like to be financially independent so I can send my father to hell
i love beeing humiliated. please tell me humiliating tasks in comments. i will do them.
i would love to have my nudes on billboards all over my city so people on the street would recognice me.
I have almost no self-esteem. I look at myself in the mirror and list ten things I hate about myself. sometimes its mentally, other times I'm going off on my physical inadequacies. My girlfriend keeps telling me I'm cute and I keep telling her stop lying. I'm scrawny as fuck, my muscle tone is less than admirable, my hips pop out in odd places, my teeth are fucking tragic, i have an underbite that makes any british pug look like a charmer. My arms are riddled with self-harm induced scars. I'm physically revolted with myself and that's not including what I loath about the mental side of myself. I try to change my body appearance to feel better about myself but I cant keep consistency up enough. Hence why I hate my mental aspects. I dont take care of myself like i should. I average at least 2 or three hours of sleep max before waking for the next day. I'm borderline a workaholic. I keep up with my 2 year old daughter along the bullshit my relationship brings to the table. I'm mentally exhausted. and at this point I'm just rambling.
Whenever I told people that I'm not feeling good mentally I got bad responses. I told my mom that I'm suicidal when I was 13 and she did nothing. I told my husband that I have depression and since the day I told him he has never once asked about it again. I told my therapist how I feel and they told me to go see another therapist because they're not specialized on depression (I was there for a behavioural thing), but then never asked again if I actually went. I know that the world doesn't revolve around me, but I think that at least the people who love me or care for me should be a little more interested in the fact that I am deadly ill.
I have an unhealthy obsession with someone and checking their social media several times a day makes it impossible to get over it. But I can't stop myself from doing that. It's an addiction. I've never been good at losing an addiction. I'm honestly afraid that I will be this miserable forever because I won't ever manage to stop checking on them.
I always cried myself to sleep .... I'm already tired
I just wanna share this story, it's about my dad ...he is abusive, ha has anger issue ... he's a cheater .... he's always flirting with different women ..and when my mom caught him he'll hurt her .... he'll beat my mom ... he's hurting everyone in our house ...and it get even worst when he's drunk ... he'll stole money from my mom ... he'll beat us ... he's destroying things in our house including our family ...i really hate my dad ...but I'm still hoping that maybe he'll become a better person ...or if not ...I hope that one they he'll go away .... he's our Father ...he should be protecting us, he should be caring for us but instead he's destroying our family