I have been having issues with spotting for 14 days. Two months ago, I started birth control pills, and I am still adjusting to them. It is a possibility, that I am going through, hormone changes. I thought, the spotting, stopped, today. I told my boyfriend about my spotting issue, and thought, it stopped. We had sex, protected of course, and found out, it was still happening. I was embarrassed. I should have declined, but I was the one who was selfish. He had the most shocked look on his face, and his expression mortified me. He was trying to act like what happened was okay, but it clearly wasn't. That wasn't the only goof up I've had, in this relationship. This relationship is very new. I wouldn't be surprised if he wants to be with someone else. He seems to be understanding of what happened, but I don't know what he's thinking. I just have to accept what happened. Anyway, life goes on. Ugh.

I think everyone secretly hates me or hangs out with me out of pitty. I am weird as f*ck and not in a good way. Almost like creepy weird cause I try to hard. I hope my son has a easier time making freinds like his dad.

I have to say this here because I know it's stupid, and I know I'll be criticized for it if I tell anyone else. If I smell kitty litter or something that smells similar to it, it reminds me of my cat and I get sad. I miss him so much. I hate that something as simple as just the scent of kitty litter makes me think of him. He's been gone for almost half a year now.

There's no reward for me when I talk to people.

Degree is hard. I want to this but at the same time I'm becoming really depressed.

I missed my teenage years because my parents expect me to act like them. As a kid, I stayed home in my house and kids are not invited in because my dad doesnt want them too. So i acquired an antisocial attitude until at my teenage years. Now Im in my 20s and i still feel like going back to my teens because I never had a social life in those times. When i was in high school, I wake up, go to classes, alone, then go home tired and sleep then do homework, social media where nobody talks to me then sleep. The cycle repeats everyday. Now its the same in college. Though a larger community, and when I approach people they were different, not a teenager mindset and I still am.. so im considered odd to them because I act like a teenager. But for me i feel like i was in a comma for so long woke up and suddenly people around me are different.. and as if i never changed. Just because I never had a social life in high school. And continues to be the same in college. Like now that im an adult and suddenly given a freedom, im adapting to my age how people my age act like but its honestly difficult. And i realized life does not exist without people around us. And all this time i was always been dead inside because life with people does exist as if i dont exist.

i have OCD and ANXIETY, can you help me to solve them? 😥

I cut. But I don't want anyone to ever know so instead of slicing my skin open all over my arms, I have that one line on my arm that I scratch open just enough with an old pair of scissors so it doesn't bleed. Then I let it heal and only do it again when it's healed again. If people notice I can say I accidentally scratched myself with a nail or something. I know cutting isn't great but since I'm not destroying my body (except for that one line that isn't even a very visible scar yet) I think it's kinda okay and better than breaking down and having a crying fit on the very bad days.

I hate how my aunt always picks on my weight. Telling how skinny I am. She talked about this girl who got sick and she was like she got so skinny just like you.

i always get used, like i go out with girls and im so nice to them and everything is perfect. they tell me how much they like me and how much fun the had. after a few days they block me. this has happened way too many times and im sick of it. i try not to get attached but i cant help it. like ill do anything for the people i like but they just wont do the same for me. idk whats wrong with me or what im doing wrong. i can feel myself becoming sad and depressed again. :(