"The heavens are for the birds, as man never was there. Facing the final truth, there is no god anymore."- Alexander Kaschte
I am broken beyond repair
What it's like to live with social anxiety, episode 3627: I'd really like to go into my own backyard to read a book, get out for once and I really need to water the plants, but my neighbors are home and even though I can't see them looking out the window, I'm too nervous to possibly be judged by them (for being in my own backyard, yes - maybe they think I'm watering the plants wrongly, maybe it's weird to just lay on the grass to read a book. I hate my brain.)
I never once shed a tear because I was molested, why is it now that I'm 24 years old that I'm feeling devastated by it?And you know what's worse? That sick fuck molested my brother too and for that idk guys I joke about killing people all the time even tho im obviously not going to, but this special variety of sick fuck (the kind that takes advantage of kids that weren't even 5 years old) will pay and others like him will pay too...
Everytime i get a proper panic attack(with all the fun physical symptoms) i feel like a part of my soul dies, i'm scared to think about how much i have left before i have totally lost my will to live. #nonotateenager
Do you know that feeling of threat, when you just don't feel good, are nervous, can't enjoy anything - for example because you have an exam the next day or sitting in an airplane that's about to take off? I have that every other day, just without a reason. Maybe there is a reason, but I don't know it. My unconscious self is just like "feel threatened" but doesn't tell me what the threat is. It's horrible. I have that right now. It's a beautiful, normal day, I'm doing things I should enjoy, but I still feel as nervous as if someone held a gun to my head all the time. Why am I like this.
I'm trying to get good enough so i can work trough my sport, but i injured myself in a really silly way and now i will need surgery that will put me out of training for at least 4 months. i don't know what to do with my life in these months, without my sport i want to die, i can't lose 4 months but i'm also so sad and not motivated to do anything if it's not related to training at least
I cry every night until I fall asleep because human cruelty breaks my heart; it hurts so much that I can't stop thinking about killing myself.
I lie alot. I rather be in another world then face reality. I rather push people away then have them close. and when I find that I'm falling for someone I will do something that makes him hate me......I'm fucked up and I know it...
Do you people have any experience with self harm? do you still do it?