I’m going to be homeless soon and I don’t know what to do and I wake up every morning wondering why the fuck I woke up.
I've been out of school for a while, but recently started to get nightmares about it again. They come more and more frequently and become worse, making me actually exhausted when I wake up because I spent the whole time of the dream panting and clenching my muscles (not to mention how I can barely concentrate on anything because I can't forget the dream). I know what they mean; there's always a past trauma in the story. But I wish I knew why they're coming NOW. And how I can stop them.
So I'm a 24 female. Since I was 16 I had strong sexual needs and I begun experiencing. Until recently I felt the need for intercourse almost daily (sometimes a few times a day) and it was wild and fun. Now I'm in a serious, committed, loving and caring 1.5 years old relationship and, since last 7-8 months, I don't feel the need for sex and I feel like something is wrong with me. My bf is understanding about this, but he is always horny and sometimes I just sleep with him just to please him. I feel broken. I want to have that urge again. (P. S. He is a beast in bed and looks athletic, I don't think the problem comes from him)
This is not what I wanted to hear... This is exactly what I feared to hear.
I'm fighting not to become a slave to pornography. This addiction is killing me. I wanna stop self medicating.
As if I needed another thing to go wrong... Something attacked my tomato plants. All my tomatoes are either gone or inedible, and the few that are left are on the plant that took the most damage; I don't know if it'll make it long enough for them to grow and ripen. I'm so sad about my plants...
I hate that I can't have someone I can be personal with; I can be that to someone, but it is hard to find that for myself. I would like someone that I can talk to where I can say what is on my mind and express my feelings fully. I can give that in return. A therapist, is just too much money.
The hardest part of my day is going home to an empty apartment knowing I wont ever want to go anywhere once I sit down. this means no meeting new people or finding a companion. The best part of my day is going home knowing I wont have to deal with bosses or coworkers or customers. I can just lay down and close my eyes.
I just want to cry but I can't. I went to my car during my lunch, planning to cry and even move my car if I needed more privacy. But my lunch passed and I can't cry while I'm at my desk. Maybe on my next break, if I get it done and clean up my face within 15 minutes.
Im 24 and being bullied by a 22 yr old at university. How pathetic am i?