i have had too many break downs and too much problems that i just want to end my life, but I'm afraid to do it because I'm insecure about my body...
My boyfriend doesn't care if he gets aids from me. I'm not comfortable with that so I always put a condom on him. Just now he took it off and screwed me bare. It felt so good I really haven't had that in a long time but now I feel like an asshole even though he chose to...
Im 36 years old male. Live with my parents because i have no job. Steal cigarettes from my dad in secret. VIRGIN never had a girlfriend. First kiss. Sex etc... Im obese and very ugly. And im drunk right now at 6am in the morning. Please don't end up like me. Make something of your life. Even if its being a toilet cleaner. Clean living will lead to success. ITS TOO LATE FOR ME
My cat came home with a little rip in his ear and now I feel sick to my stomach. God only knows what other injuries are hiding under his thick, black fur. I wish he'd quit getting in fights all the time. Really, I wish I could just make him an indoor cat and avoid all this in the first place.
I always feel like I have to justify being alive.
I have to control my anger. Just control it. Control the anger against my mom telling this, control the anger that my brother criticize me all the time and mentally abuse me. Control the anger that my father never listens to me and keep on with his words and what his world. The rest of the a wider story pertaining to why I'm angry about these are bound to make me explode and I hate to explain a novel about them. In short, my family is mental tbh...
my girl/mother of my children gets drunk every two days I want to leave this sick fuck but I can't leave my kids. how will she afford to pay the rent without me. can I afford my own apartment having to still play her rent. worse part is she lost her sex drive. this shit is wack and I deserve better
My alarm went off today, I turned it off and kinda drifted for a while. After about 5 mins, I realised that my bf was wanking. I had a quick prep and could see that he was on FB on his phone jerking it to some chick. I shut my eyes hurt, stunned and then pretended to wake up. I was so angry I just left the bedroom without saying a word. He come out about half an hour later and I went straight into the bedroom pulled back the sheets and he'd left a wank stain. I confronted him about it and he tried to pass it off as normal - like it was just a wank. To be clear in general I don't care about him having a wank - that's normal. However to do it next to me and over a girl on FB - wtf. He claimed that he searches something like 'hot girls' and girls, like friends of friends, he doesn't know well to try and make it seem less personal but I'm still hugely insulted and I think he does it on occasion to girls on his friends list too. I don't deny him sex; making sure he always finishes and make so much more of an effort than him to look attractive, this has just devastated my self esteem. Even worse is that he keeps on trying to claim that it's 'normal'. Another excuse is that we're always together and he doesn't have space to do it elsewhere in our small flat. Angrily I told him that I don't care about him wanking in general, you still don't wank off to another chick on FB next to your gf even if you thinks she's asleep, just brazenly disrespectful. We're meant to be getting a flat together next month and this has just put me off so much.
Today, I've seen him again. I can't describe my feelings when I saw him.. That doesn't make any **** sense.. I like him since last year and we've never talk to each other !! HELL NO! I just don't wanna look like a whore and go to say HI first that's absolutely not gonna happen.. But why he keep looking at meeeee !!!!
I have a history of depression. And I think being indecisive is a part of it. And that leaves me empty minded and mentally exhausted. And I just wanted one thing in life. One thing that I will do and will let the course of my life be smooth sailing. I know life is not perfect but I at least I want something that I don't have to add other shit into. When I go into a phase, that's it and nothing more. I just want to decide one thing but I don't know why its sooooooooooooooo difficult. Then I go back to the cycle of feeling lost. And it's so hard to break it.