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The only reason I am still alife is my fear of death.

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  • I don't fear it I actually have experienced it still doesn't change my mind

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I hate when people start arguments about anything related to rape or sexual assault or just taking advantage of people. I get really heated about it because, as someone who was taken advantage of and sexually assaulted, I have very strong opinions. And I've come to realize that people who haven't been in those situations just... don't understand. Like for example, people don't get that someone can take advantage of a willing participant. A group chat was arguing with me that celebrities who sleep with their fans aren't doing anything wrong as long as everyone is over 18 because the fans want it. But I argued that they're using their status and taking advantage of the fans' adoration to just use them like a sex toy before tossing them aside and moving on, and it's disgusting behavior. Now I just can't stop thinking of my personal experience and I'm so angry that people are okay with that kind of thing, and my mood is ruined. It's just so upsetting.

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  • I also hate when I have a strong opinion on something, especially when I'm the expert and the others are not... I'd say everyone knows this feeling. However, sometimes we just aren't the experts. Sometimes, we feel like we know it better than the others because we have been in this situation, completely ignoring the fact that everyone experiences situations differently and that, unless the situation is the very same, situations itself can be entirely different even though they look the same at the first glance. I have had several strong opinions on things and argued about them as if my life depended on it, and later realized that I had been completely wrong and just reacted so strongly because I was emotional about it.

  • So if I sleep with my crush, who I admire and am crazy about and dreamt about getting with for ages, he's actually abusing me? I seriously don't get the logic. Yes, the celebrieties are taking advantage of the situation that they can easily get sex from the fans. But taking advantage does not mean abuse. Abuse would be to pressure a fan who doesn't want to sleep with you into having sex with you - for example by saying he's not a real fan if he doesn't sleep with you, and then repeatedly pressuring him when he says no. But as long as the fan is WILLING to have the sex, how can it be rape or abuse? That's exactly the same as the, in my eyes, stupid drunk-debate. Some people say that drunk people can't consent and therefore every intercourse with a drunk person is rape or abuse. Which is just... it's insane and far from reality. I also think that, since you had an actual abuse happening to you and now have a trauma, the whole topic of sex is too sensitive for you.

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I thought I would not have to use confesster again but I need to talk about something. My brother sexually assaulted me a few years ago and since then I've been goingback and forth from "fine i'm over it" to "oh wait no i'm not okay at all". Tonight is one of the not okay moments. My current boyfriend and a couple friends know about this, but I don't want to talk to them about this totally out of the blue, they would not understand why I would bring that up for no apparent reason. The fact is that there is no actual reason, some nights I just can't help but think about it again and again and re-live the moment and feel so stuck but I can't stop. It's been more than two years and I'm still not fine. I'm beginning to think that if I stopped hiding it from everyone it would help me, because I feel like I'm protecting him while he's the one who has destroyed me. But the major problem is that if I talk about this, my parents would end up at least as sad as I am, my family would be totally ruined and broken down. I know it would be his fault and not mine, but the results for everyone else but me would be awful. I guess I don't want to do it but I wish I could. Please help.

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  • I don't know what to say at all. i have older sisters and just the thought of doing something like that makes me cringe, i dunno how it's possible for someone to do that to their siblings. i just can't grasp it

  • Please... tell them. Don't sacrifice your mental health for the sake of maintaining the 'family' image. My mom kept my dad around for way longer than she should have because she didn't want to shatter the illusion of a perfect family, and it was a mistake. You need help, possibly counseling/therapy. And you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to, but please, don't protect him. He doesn't deserve it. He deserves for everyone to know what a sick fuck he is.

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Everytime I am about to start my cycle or on the day I start my cycle, my mood swings are extreme. I feel paranoid, as if people around me seem hostile and cold. I make eye contact with people, and I feel like their expressions seem full of distain and annoyed. I feel overwhelmed as if people are saying vicious things about me. Normally, those ideas don't cross my mind, but on the days leading up to my cycle, I can't get it out of my mind. I may make remarks to someone, if what they have said was offensive. I try to keep my mouth shut most of the time, but people I work with think I am being disrespectful. Moments I wonder if I should up my vitamins even beyond recommended amount or take a prescription from a doctor. It gets isolating and I hate it. After a few days, I'm back to normal and a lot happier and more giving. Then in about a week, regular, no major thought and back to regular habits. It happens every time. Can any women relate to those issues?

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  • These are common symptoms of PMS

  • same I think it's cuz of the drugs it makes it worse.

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I woke up to my brother having sex with me and he told me I was drunk which I was but I would never agree to anything like that with him. I keep taking showers and I feel dirty. I don't know what to do. I left to my friends house as soon as it happened and going to stay the night to avoid him. I'm 18 and he's 24

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Its really difficult to put my desires into words. There is so much i want to do, but i have no energy for anything. I am so tired. I want to get stronger, i want to create art, i want to lern chinese and russian, i want to practice calligraphy and typography, but altough there are so many things i want, i have no energy to do even one of these. I am a bad person, weak and pathetic. Time is running out. I dont want this body anmore, nor this life. Everytime i want to end my life my other half finds excuses to push it back a little. One day when i end it all, the most satisfying thing will be that this side dies with me.

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  • Start with something small. You want to do all these things because you are a free soul. Cherish tch that in yourself. Find out what it is that stops you from doing what you really want to do. I know what it feels like. But start small and you will feel very different! Just like nature doesnt bloom all year round, so won't you. You just know what kind of person you WANT to be, and realise you're not that person right now. That's a gift bc not a lot of people have this insight. So use that to become that person you want to be. And don't be too hard on yourself. You're not obligated to be perfect. Take your time. Know that I, a stranger cares :)

  • Depression can make you feel like that. Buy I promise, once you make yourself start doing something, you'll start wanting to do it more. But please, get help.

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So. I guess I'll type down what's been bugging me recently. I've lost my car to the flood in Houston while I was working. I was compensated for it. I've bought a truck. That blew up and I realized I was scammed by a dealership and I can't get my money back. I lost my job due to not having a vehicle. All the money I was saving up for another car went into paying for a new house to live in with my family since my apartment kept flooding all the time even without hurricanes and was growing mold that management took a very long time to get rid of. Right now, I'm being supported by my family, but I am unable to find another job. I'm in a part of town where there are no buses for miles. The places I apply keep saying that either they're full or they don't answer my calls. It's been three months now. My suicidal depression's getting worse and worse. I keep getting thoughts like, "You're useless" "You can't do anything on your own" "Even if you Uber, you'll only be making 20 dollars a week so what's the point" "Just die already" I've tried reading the bible front and back like my mother suggests but it's just a literary version of white noise. My mom says, "Just wait. We'll invest in a car so you can get a job" which just makes me feel worse. "You're a hindrance" is all I can think. I'm sleeping a lot more now and waking up dizzy feeling nausea. I feel trapped and no where to go. No more. Please. I want it to stop.

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  • You're in North America dude. most of us have it much worse because our countries are so bad that there isn't even opportunity. you just need to fix your car and get back in there. god what i wouldn't give to be born american and have access to all the opportunities that you guys have. lots of people from my country die or use ALL of their money just to get in. they are still poor in the U.S, but they don't suffer as much as they did in my country.

  • I know how you feel. And I know this is tough. And I know that when people want to help, it seems like you're just a burden on them. I've felt all of it before. But you have to learn to let people help you sometimes. It doesn't make you a hindrance. Everyone needs help sometimes, and that's okay. You are okay. You can do this. As for the sleeping, oversleeping can make your depression worse- I know this firsthand. Don't let yourself sleep that long. I know it feels impossible and pointless to get out of bed, but you have to make yourself get up, even if all you do is go for a walk around the block. You will find a job. Don't lose hope.

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The first relationship I was in, i was 14. I lost my virginity (16)to him. I always saw sex as okay. But after i broke up with him, i became very, dont how to explain this but scared and hesitant of the touch of him or any male. To believe i was gay after a while of being single. But i shortly went back to men. This is the fucked up part - 17 years old, i met with my first sugar daddy, 30 years older than me. I lied to him about my age for some stupid reason, i thought, hmm i wonder what i can get out of this. I have the constant thought of being an object or just for pleasure by him. After telling the truth of my age, he proceeded to have sex with me in a stairwell. I thought wow, im so scandalous with this middle aged man: i dont want anyone to know. I continued to see him, he was giving me money, i was very intrigued, i dont have much money so it helped. But as i was bent over in the stairwell my legs were shaking. This man was so intimidating. I think it was a guy i had met with only two times, really made me anxious. Im finally 18, but he could still sense i was scared, we proceeded to the hotel room anyways. That afternoon was bizarre, it was fun, but this experimental side of me made me anxious. We did everything and it was better than my first time. But i felt like it was just him, so intimidating. He choked me with his belt, i almost passed out. I dont know why and how we proceeded to that. I feel as though a mental toll has been taken on me from this experience and i dont know how to keep it together. I dont want to tell people i know this story. Its so fucked up and disgusting, i have a safety plan at school and everything. But they dont know this, this is the main reason why i want to die. So no one can know this gross story. Ive recently decided that i want to stop seeing him, that i am mentally not okay to continue as a sugar baby. My sugar daddy shouldnt need my emotional baggage, but I was never going to tell him in the first place.

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  • Well, mistakes are there to learn from them. Just try to not overthink it. Think about it like broccoli. You tried it, you didnt like it, move on with something else. Theres nothing shameful about being a sugarbaby or whatever its called, some people like to be one. but if you dont, thats fine, and if you didnt tell anyone, noone has to know.

  • You don't have to tell anyone. And honestly if he does things that make you uncomfortable, you shouldn't be with him. Even if the money does help. Please leave him.

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I feel like dieing but I know my parents can't afford it, my health is not going well I'm afraid something unintentional might happen but I would be happy but I can't be happy if I burden them with debt. posted here cause I don't want people criticizing me. I would write more but that would mean a lot of explaining.

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  • I wish you luck.

  • Yeah. Because eggs are so expensive (keto 4ever!)

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My boyfriend and me tried to have sex for the first time in weeks, not good. He was too soft when we tried sex so I attempted to give him a BJ for a couple of minutes, no luck he went completely soft. I don't know why. I know we're long term but this situation hasn't really occured before, at least in this extreme. Usually worst comes to worst he finishes when I give him a bj, not this time I asked him why and he said he didn't know. I just lay there in the awkward silence embarrassed and hurt after, trying to think of reasons why. Our relationship is good atm, I'm pretty sure he's not under any stress, he was telling me just earlier in the day that I looked pretty and he wasn't intoxicated or anything. I've sensed he's kind of avoided sex for close on a month now until yesterday's disaster, even when we started I sensed he wasn't completely into it. Even asking him last night why he didn't give me a proper answer. I don't know what to do, we're both only in our twenties, surely way too young to be barely having sex.

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  • He’s cheating

  • ask him if he has any fetishes

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