I'm so over being sober. Only reason why it seems like I go to work is to be able to afford to mentally numb myself.
God damn. I am sad that you want anyone but me. Fuck. I'm so angry for letting myself get dragged on for so hard when I knew what was going on.
I still hate my “new” work.. 1 month now :/
After having been in a few abusive relationships I've finally after some years found someone whos good to me. I can't believe the absolute sweetheart he is. Now one of my best friends has told me he hates it because of I won't love and marry him in 3 years he will kill himself. How can you put something like that on someone.
i hate myself and yet i love myself. today has been the luckiest day i got free tickets to something i didn't have any homework. and i had a wonderful dinner i made. and at the end im depressed bc I've been wanting to talk to this girl all day and i feel like she's been avoiding me or not interested in me. its all because her ex is trying to come back and im pretty sure he sussed. i just want the truth i dont care if it hurts me as long as i dont have to suffer through it anymore worrying but yet i do bc i really care about her... and i feel . well idk anymore and it scares me i wish that things will work out between us and if it doesn't i just need to remember that my friends are next to me and if i dont have them then i have god
I really think I may have something wrong inside me. I feel depressed and think my life is pointless. I had a dream that I had a illness, my wife left me and I was dealing with al this alone.
Im 29 yeas old.. this uear ill be 30.. life is going to fast :/.. someday ill wake up like a 70 yeas old grandma.. this make me sad.. i wanna live.. i do not wanna die..
I've been depressed for so long that even when I feel okay, I still look to suicide with rose tinted glasses. It's become a personal belief now to off myself and I've engrained it so deep into my head that I can't think of any other way. I have my own plan and everything. I've grown too comfortable with the idea, but I can't change the way I think about it.
Food makes me feel shame. Eating makes me feel shame. My body makes looking at myself feel shameful.
I feel more useless with each day that passes. I wish my mother didn't have to deal with me. I mean I help out as much as I can financially, but it's just not enough. I wish I could do more. I just feel like such a burden.