I feel broken. I feel alone. I feel like I'm lost. I am a childless mother. Being a foster mother is hard, but it's even harder when they have to leave again. My last one I had for 6 years. She's been gone for month now and it feels like it only happened today. I don't know how to heal my heart and I don't know how to move on. It's even worse since the welfare don't care to give updates on her welfare. I miss her more than I have the ability to express it. I feel like I'll be this broken forever.
I feel dead inside, I don't love anyone. I think I don't allow myself to.
People make me feel like shit and i keep the frustration to myself. I'm a ticking time bomb of anger ready to explode. Thank god I don't live in the US where guns are easy to get
I need to have sex so bad but i'm scared at the same time
I guess if I cant do anything right, I might as well off myself.
why i don't have any skills or talent? huhu I am not good at anything sadlyf.
Been crying for the last four days. I don't know what's going on. I just feel so sad and the smallest things tick me off.
don't tlak to me im busy
I've made mistakes in my brief life. Things that I wish I could take back. Things that nearly compelled me to take my own life many times. I've done nothing but run from them. the memories, the pain I caused and the pain it causes me. I've run to the point where I went to a place where nobody knew my name, who I was or what I've done. Thinking that I could start new. I've been a dedicated medical worker for years. its all I have left of myself. It seems I can't even be a servant of the people because of my stupidity. Without nursing; I have nothing. I am nothing. its my soul, my existence. now I feel hopeless.
My grandfather's health is getting worse..I know that it's partially because of his chemo. But also he's getting really weak and tired. He can barely go to the toilet on his own anymore! He's always in pain right now and meds are not working And I have had this feeling inside me that..he's not gonna make it.. Have had that feeling for a while now.. It's like I'm preparing myself for it But it hurts.. I don't know if it'll be either when I'm expecting it. Even tho I keep telling myself that I'm expecting it I still can't believe it.. I don't want to..! And I think he feels it too cause today he called me and told me not kick his wife out of the house after his death... He barely eats anything now!!! I was at my aunt's for a week and when I saw him he lost so much weight and looks so much weaker! We're supposed to have a check up next week.. What if it didn't work? What if the chemo that has drained the life out him didn't work? What if his tumor got bigger? Or worse spread?? What if that's it? And he only has a few days..weeks or a month to live?? The amount of irrational guilt I have rn is ridiculous! I feel so guilty that he's in pain and I can't do anything to make it better.. I wish I could take it away.. I wish it was me instead..