So Me and my sister have an abusive mom, our dad and step mom are no better. Our mom is emotionally abusive and manipulative, she is diagnosed with BPD but refuses to take medication for it because she doesn't want to, but I don't really know if I should consider her a bad person because I wanna be empathic towards her but at the same time she has destroyed many things in my life. Me and sister are teaming up behind her back to move out eventually in the next few years, although freedom is so close, it feels wrong at the same time. When I get somewheres where I'm on my own or with my sister, I won't know what to do with myself because I've been walking on eggshells for my entire life avoiding getting shit from any of my parental figures in my life, they claim that I should appreciate them because they are my parents but I have a hard time doing that, not because I'm incapable, mainly because I have a hard time appreciating people that have done very little to help me out in life. lol. idk if I'm an ableist for calling my mom a bad person but... damn... if I am Im sorry.
Over the past few months I have watched negative viewing material. It had made me depressed, but had a hard time stopping. Little by little, I had replaced what I was viewing, with more educational, creative and positive entertainment. I also began to read more books and arts a crafts. I feel a lot better than I did. I'll try to keep it up! 🙂 If you have any positive hobbies or entertainment, let me know. I'd like to read them. (Nothing negative, X-rated or violent) Thank you!
also, i need to fuckin stop making promises i can never keep, shit got me in too much debt
can't stop thinking about her.
I just want to hug someone. im too depressed and sad af.
I just want to smoke a ciggy to get my depression out. Family problems are too harsh.
So I transitioned from female to male (I'm post operation) and I'm starting to slightly regret it, not because I hate my body, because I'm indifferent, it doesn't make a difference for me. But because I probably mistook my mental health problems for being trans. So basically, I lose time, all the time, and everytime I "time skip" I go into another dreamworld where me and the other internal voices in my head coexist. I've always had the internal voices, and I've always became and acted like them. I initially thought it was make believe and it was simply my vivid imagination, but it would happen even outside of play time. I study psychology, I think I know what has happened. However living with a large secret like this isn't easy. Now I'm 18, all of the the internal voices are still there, every time I leave to often come back to notes left behind signed off in their names and I'm consistently behind in school. I don't really know what to do about it, because it's an undiagnosed problem, therefore, I just added myself to a therapy waiting list, and I just have to wait. But thanks for reading this anonymous post about my crappy life.
yung alam mo na sa sarili mo na maling mali na pero patuloy pa rin...di ko alam kung gaga or gago lang talaga ako
I wish I was a woman every day and it sucks.
i need money to keep my dream possible, but also every hour i work makes me worse at making my dreams into reality. i wasted so much time, when i was teenager my parents would have paid for training if i annoyed them enough, but i just wanted to do nothing and lay down