I just want to feel true happiness again.
i've fapped so much today my dick hurts, but i can't force my wife to have sex with me and i don't want to cheat on her
There's not a single thing going right in my life at the moment and honestly, I'm extremely proud of myself for sticking around and still trying my best. That's all I want to say right now. If you're struggling, be proud for doing your best.
I love my baby I really do, but he is just a handfull sometimes and then tonight I have leterally tried to get him to go back to sleep since 11 and its now 230 am and im too the point of crying. Hes crying cause hes tried. Im crying cause I'm tried and knowing hes tried but hes fighting so hes mad and being pregnant agian all this stress right now is making my stomach ache so bad. I do have the babys father in my life and living with me but hes also an ass when you wake him up from sleeping and his pissy attitude is the last thing I need right now. Not saying i'm innocence in anyway cause I obviously get fustrated too. Its hard to be a mom and now I am going to have two which is twice the trouble...Im so jealous of mothers who just have all the patience in the world...I just feel like Im not doing a good enough job now so I dont expect me to be better with another. Im just worried I'll make it worse and that they will be better off without me.
I have a list of research, labs, volunteers, clubs, and class plans but really, my mind wants is to get treatment for my mental health. I wanna just be in a hospital and have a learning time for why im feeling crappy... metaphorically speaking, i feel like my strings are tied up to a hand clock that keeps moving and i have to be dragged along with it or else id be dragged onto an cemented ground and my ass just get bruised up. I dont know when to feel like those string are cut off or when doesthat time freezes while i take time to breath.... im fucking tired of life and the carried expectations i brought up to myself because i chose a career that i love yet super demanding... im happy at the same time im not.... mostly im empty and tired... what is life???
The depression is hitting me hard. My chest physically hurts from the emotional turmoil I'm going through. Fuck mental illness. This shit is ruining my life.
It's just been a really bad week... and it's been so long. I feel like it's been a month since last weekend. I just want things to go back to normal.
I feel like I am different from everyone else. I can't find anyone with the same opinions that I have. I am 20 and I miss how the world used to be a few years ago.I miss the social facebook games why doesn't anyone play them anymore?, I miss when printed magazines were still popular, I miss msn and its fun way to chats, I miss when outings were still simple and fun, not fucking nightclubs or very expensive restaurants, I miss when there were challenges and competitions, I miss social games like spin the bottle and truth or dare,I miss when collecting coins and stamps was still a thing. Why am I the only one in this large world who misses these amazing things, and WHY DO PEOPLE MAKE ME FEEL WEIRD AND JUDGE ME WHEN I TELL THEM I MISS THESE THINGS? I can't fit in in the current way of life where all what people around think about is clubbing,dogs,gym and food. I feel very bored, very lonely and very depressed. am I the only one in this huge world who misses the things above? is there any other person like me?
i just want to be able to smile again..that's all..
I currently hate my work so much that I cry literally every day. I don't know how to make it through the next hour, let alone next few months. The thing is, I'll only be here for the next few months. Then I'll be referred to the workplace I actually want to work at, so it wouldn't make any sense to quit. I already tried everything, I tried negotiating with my boss, tried to talk to my co-workers about the things that are bugging me, but there's no point. Things are as they are. I can't even take my holiday leave or a sick leave during those months, because then I'd risk losing the position. I have to sit through it. Somehow.