I'm a compulsive cheater. I hate myself, and I will end my life soon, so this stuff ends.
I talk to myself alot when no one eles is around. I pretend I'm talking to a therapist and then I just start reliving my life. All the times my step dad yelled and hit my for no reason. The time I was molested. My biological dad calling my from jail but then disappearing when he got out. How I had a friend I thought I would have for life but she fucked me over. How I got pregnant and relized I didnt know how to act or even raise a child so I feel like a failure as a mother. It always ends up with me crying cause I realize I dont really have anyone who I feel like really cares. I just annoy them or make them uncomfortable when I try and talk about my problems. I know going to an actual therapist could help me. But they are just a stranger who wants money I don't even have.
I went to confess my thoughts, but then I realized that I didn't know what words to use. I live with my boyfriend and his 1 year old son, because his ex walked out on his sons life. Now He makes me feel like I'm in the wrong about everything, he says that I complain about everything, that "it's never enough". I just am tired of being put down... I'm the one staying home and cooking, cleaning, taking care of his son, and I don't even have any friends or family to talk to anymore. advice?
I don’t really know what I’m depressed about. I’m 19 now, and I’ve been feeling like this since I was 7. My own family doesn’t know how to support me, because they don’t know how it feels to be depressed. I started to believe what sister said to me that I’m actually a failure, cause doesn’t matter how many times I tried, I still failed. That I’m actually a disappointment to my parents and so on. I accept it now. I’m thinking of getting warded, bcs I really wanna rest. There’s a war inside my head and being at home doing chores and having to function like a human being makes it worse bcs there’s nothing i want more than killing myself.
I don't know how to scrape together the will to get up every morning anymore. There's less of it every day. Sometimes I feel like I'd rather die than get up and go to work. It's bad.
I'm always depressed and people said I have to talk to someone. I mean I don't because every time I say something, they try to change my mindset and say out reasons what I think is a "don't worry it's just..." I mean thanks but I know my problem and how to solve them but bottling them myself makes it worse me. I just want someone who listens and acknowledge what I'm saying and say "I see, I hear you". Talked to so many people everyone is just somehow opinionated. I don't need opinions either nor what to do. I just wanna talk.
I don't even know why I'm here. Like on this app. I feel so stupid, but I just really need to let it all out... I have really bad social anxiety and it's caused me to miss out on a lot of things, all I ever feel like doing is sitting in my room on my electronics. People make me really anxious. My social anxiety has also really affected my self esteem and my grades. Making me feel so depressed and alone. I've never told anyone how I truly felt, mostly because I'm afraid they won't understand or they'd end up judging me. It's really hard because I'm AWARE of how pathetic I sound, but I can't help but feel this way. Which makes it worse. It's come to the point where I'm genuinely SCARED to do anything any other normal person would be able to do! I'm scared of meeting new people, going to school, talking on the phone, talking to my teachers, ordering my food at a restaurant, buying something in a store, talking to my FAMILY/Friends... the list goes on. I'm to scared to ask for help... but these past 5 years for me have been hard and I don't think I can do it all alone anymore...
I just wish i could desapear
I don’t think I’m same person to everyone... is that bad?
Im doing therapy for 2 months now.. today my therapist told me hes afraid because he had the feeling that im just “living” and waiting the time pass by until i die.. because i dont have any dreams at all and everything for me is just pointless.. :/ the sad thing is.. he is right :/ i dont care about anythung.. i dont have any dreams.. im just living until the time passes by :(.. this made me sad.. it seems to be a “real” problem now since my therapis told it to me.. and now im afraid to live my whole life with no dreams :( i just came home and cried my soul out..