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I cut. But I don't want anyone to ever know so instead of slicing my skin open all over my arms, I have that one line on my arm that I scratch open just enough with an old pair of scissors so it doesn't bleed. Then I let it heal and only do it again when it's healed again. If people notice I can say I accidentally scratched myself with a nail or something. I know cutting isn't great but since I'm not destroying my body (except for that one line that isn't even a very visible scar yet) I think it's kinda okay and better than breaking down and having a crying fit on the very bad days.

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  • Crying is better than cutting

  • crying is good, i cry sometimes still bc it releases stress and helps so much. sometimes all you need is a good cry

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I hate how my aunt always picks on my weight. Telling how skinny I am. She talked about this girl who got sick and she was like she got so skinny just like you.

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i always get used, like i go out with girls and im so nice to them and everything is perfect. they tell me how much they like me and how much fun the had. after a few days they block me. this has happened way too many times and im sick of it. i try not to get attached but i cant help it. like ill do anything for the people i like but they just wont do the same for me. idk whats wrong with me or what im doing wrong. i can feel myself becoming sad and depressed again. :(

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  • Do you spam them with messages? Can you tell whether they are being honest when they say they had fun with you (do they tell you in person? Do they say it because you ask them? Do they form full sentences or just throw you a quick 'thanks for the date it was fun'?)

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Throughout my young childhood. I was abused sexually, verbally, emotionally, and physically by the people around me. I was seen as trash and a slut that could be used as a cock sleeve. Now I think of myself as a slut. I crave the feeling of being fucked because it's all I've known. I crave the pain that was given to me as a small child. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to experience the rape again. I'm a horrible person. I want to know what it's like to be forced again. I want to feel the pain of being held down as they use me. and I hate myself for it. I hate myself for exsisting. I hate myself for not fighting back because they told me they loved me. I hate myself for complying with what they asked, no matter how afraid I was. I hate living. I want to die.

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  • Please seek help. The feelings you're experiencing are very normal for victims of abuse, but they're not healthy. You need someone to help you work through them. I'm sorry that happened to you and that you're still suffering the effects of it.

  • I think you really should seek professional help if it's possible, just remember there's nothing more fulfilling than being fully love, accepted and understand by someone. And that love is not gain by saying yes to those force/ rape, you are hurting and it hurts accepting it's ok to be treated that way. Help yourself by Seeking help. Stay safe.

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I had an anxiety attack - maybe it's not the proper term for what I actually want to describe, but I don't know how else to name it - at a family celebration yesterday. I always get cranky at parties because it's all too much for me, I normally need a break after 2 or 3 hours of human interaction, but parties usually are longer. There are also drunk people who are standing too close to you and touch you - something that makes me very uneasy and sometimes even panic - and a lot of grandma's and uncles and also strangers (friends of the extended family) who ask questions that I don't feel comfortable with. But yesterday, all of this hit me even harder than usually. Especially when a few people made fun of me for sitting in a corner, or when one aunt of mine came and told me that I should "get my shit together and not be such a killjoy" (as if I hadn't tried all my life to be different) - it just all broke me down. I had to go to the bathroom several times to fight back tears, had trouble breathing, and I felt this strange sense of total panic and "I have to get out of here". I snapped at a lot of people and went home early (which caused a huge fuss because I got into a fight with my mom about not being allowed outside late at night alone, so I called an Uber and had to go back to the party until it arrived). I heard a lot of people talk about me in both concerned and angry voices. I am too afraid to go down and see my parents because I know they want to talk about it, but I don't want to. I am so endlessly ashamed for being like this and wish I never had to see any of them again.

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  • It must been a very hard time for you. It might helps if you talk to one or two of your family member who understand this illness, so they can explain to others, and you have the right to go back early or refuse to join these type of party if it makes you feel this uncomfortable. Please be ok, and try not to think about them anymore. People who really cares for you will understand you.

  • That does sound like social anxiety :( I suggest getting therapy if you can... I'm sorry this happened. Your family should really be more understanding. None of my family has ever had the kind of party where people get drunk and stay all night, idk why your family is like that. Don't be ashamed of feeling uncomfortable. Don't let them make you feel bad for being overwhelmed. Yiur mental health is important.

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I'm failing my classes in college, I have no time for sleep, eat and do things that makes me feel human. I have no friends. Ever since I started college I haven't made any friends I can be close with. I was still at home manipulated by some conservative rules. My job don't pay enough for me to even afford living on my own. I don't even have a boyfriend. Now I'm gaining weight, growing lots of pimples, and is extremely depressed. My parents told me to live all those goals one by one. Finish college first and then the others. I always know happiness is pursue not given. So I want to pursue them but one thing I don't know, does pursuing them take a long time or not? Does pursuing happiness even mean pursuing success? What is success?

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  • success is different for everyone. what's your definition of it? who do you consider successful? someone with lots of money? high social status? lots of free time? someone with a lot of friends? someone happily married with children? only you can define what success is for you. and if college isn't going to bring you the things you want then maybe it isn't for you. i'm not ssying drop out. i do believe in education. but for some people that isnt the right course of action. college does not guarantee success. it opens some doors, but ultimately for some, it can be there downfall once the debt from student loans accumulate. happiness is not the same as success unless your definition of success is happiness. but I would say that happiness is not given or even pursued, it's created. you create your happiness. things can get in your way. difficult things still happen and i'm not saying you'll be happy every second of every day. but you decide what makes you happy and you choose to have a good attitude. go after whatever you think is best for your life but don't listen to people who aren't where you want to be, chase YOUR dreams, not someone elses. the people you consider successful can help you get where they are, but those who aren't there will do everything to bring you down, even if it's unintentional.

  • Don't listen to your parents. You can pursue several things at once. You can get an education and still have friends or be in love. Humans need social interaction.

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I've just now realized that I have a mental issue and need help. I've always known that I'm not completely normal, but always brushed it off by saying "what even is normal, after all". In my teen years, when it was kind of "trendy" to say you are cutting and depressed and what not, I felt like a horrible person who's just looking for attention. Later I also thought, well, maybe this is what life is supposed to be like. But I've realized it's not. I have problems. I am not normal. Just wanted to tell that someone.

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  • Take care of you. Get help if you can

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Ok guys that are taking meds: I'm one of you and I need advice about getting my sex drive back.

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  • stop taking those meds

  • Please please please talk to your doctor. Every person will react differently/need different solutions.

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my head makes me go crazy. it took me long to get over my first girlfriend. had another one. broke up. hear that my first girlfriends mother died. wrote her saying i was sorry. met an absolutely stunning woman, that seems so much cooler than i am. had a date with her. think only about her, but she is reluctant in showing affection. first girlfriend writes again after a month to tell about her situation. dream about her. dream about five other women. have weird sex dreams and dreams about terrorist attacks. perform really good at university, my brain does not give me a reward. i dont know where my feelings are.

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  • So... you had a life and some weird dreams?

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One of the main characters dies in my tv show, im crying. R.I.P Bobby Singer

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  • everyone dies in supernatural. only some come back.

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