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ive forgotten how to cry

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i feel like im living in limbo... my life isn't good or bad just blank. i was recently diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and even though i was the one who suggested that i had it i wasn't expecting it to hit this hard. im spending my birthday alone tomorrow and i sincerely hope ill just walk around and wander for the whole day. im not sure if ill be able to handle anything else.

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Might be a trigger. . . . . . . . I fantasize about being raped. I dont know why. Could be because of my childhood trauma..and its awful thing and I hate myself for it.

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  • that's a common fantasy for women but it doesn't mean you want it to happen or that you would enjoy it. don't beat yourself up and don't worry about it. eventually your mom will drift to other sexual fantasies both routine and normal and the more exotic ones. they're like exercise for the mind, the sexual mind.

  • Maybe you just like thinking about it because you're afraid it might happen, and fantasizing about it makes you feel 'ready' for when it does happen. Anyway you might benefit from professional help. :)

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today was so crazy my little sisters best friend. has my number cause I usually pick them up from school on my way home from work. I know she likes me it's cute. yeah I get hard sometimes when I'm around her. but I had no idea she wanted to fuck me. she sent a photo of her in bed naked with her blanket covering up her parts. saying let me know if you want me. I reply quickly yes I do. she's 18 just because she's in high school doesn't mean anything

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  • man, I would immediately run to her!

  • she not 18 isn't she? imma slap you up fool

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What to do if you lose your passion? I don't know what is happening to me, but I think I lose my passion and it'll cost me my life (education, family trust, etc). And it still not enough push that I need to get my passion back. I don't know what to do right now. Now it cost me to fall asleep at dawn, overthinking every night, and messing my monthly period because of stressed.

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  • It might just be depression, which can be helped through therapy and possibly medication. But you may also just havd a different passion now, and you haven't found it yet. It's normal to lose interest in things you once loved.

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I am so tired of everything... I feel i lost my way, i am caught up in this routine that i hate. I don't do anything i like anymore.. I feel it is my duty to make it right.. But this "right" doesn't seem so right to me.... I am so unhappy.... I need one moment, just a small thing...to still be able to believe that i can go through this...

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  • You can do it stranger. You will go through this and you will be happy again. Just keep searching! Papa bless

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I need to wake up, to escape. How, can someone tell me the way.

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Cute guy winks at me. Keeps thinking about how someone cute winked at me. Thinks too hard and now Im fuckin sad because I'm ugly af and it didnt mean anything.

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  • How do you know it didn't mean anything? He wouldn't wink at you for no reason right? As we say in Dutch, there's a lid for every container haha. Keep your head up :)

  • Don't tell yourself that. Just because you arent your type doesn't mean you aren't anyone's type. Are Christmas lights any less beautiful because they don't look like flowers? Are flowers ugly because they don't look like a sunset sky? No. There are different kinds of beauty, and just because you don't see yours doesn't mean it isn't there. And guys don't wink at girls for nothing!

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You've treated me so horribly. I'm so scared of talking to you even though I told you that I wanted to stay friends. You're the first person I've ever truly fallen in love with, but all you want to do is just keep lying to yourself and you don't care who you hurt to do it. I want to be there for you. To help you. But you want to live in a delusion. I should hate you so much, but I can't stop loving you. I wish I've never fallen in love because every single day I only think about you. It doesn't stop.

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  • Listen. I've been where you are. You have to get out. They won't change, they never change. You can't fix them. They have to fix themselves. It's okay to love someone from a distance. You can care about them and want the best for them but still keep them at arm's length, just like having a pet rattlesnake. That snake won't love you back, it'll bite you any chance it gets. But you continue to show it love because you care about it. You just have to stay away from it and watch from afar.

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I am very, very, very lonely. I keep pretending I'm happy with my life and I have friends, but I'm not and I don't.

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  • Then find some friends? It's not as hard as you think. It takes time, but it isn't difficult.

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