I want to have an internet friend.. someone give me their twitter @
I never find any friends anywhere. The only time I was able to do that was in kindergarten and elementary school, and all friends I have today are from that time. They went to high school with me so I wasn't friendless there, but after that I realized my problem. Whenever I was somewhere, summer camps or sports club, I didn't find friends. I've been in college for over a year now and I haven't found any friends.The thing is, it's not that I don't talk to people - I'm shy so I barely do it, but in the end you always end up talking to someone or hanging out with someone. But it never gets deep enough to call someone a friend, it never happens that either one of us has the desire to hang out in private or talk about feelings or whatever. I already can see myself being forever lonely, because all my childhood friends are leaving the city.
My best friend wants to hang out with my sister more than she wants to hang out with me, and it hurts so fucking bad... My sister steals all of my friends, every single one. They all like her more than me because I'm a fucking loser.
In the end, i'm just an outsider from every group i belong to.
My friend slept over my house for the first time. We've been wanting to have sleep overs since we were kids, and we finally got to have one as adults. She ended up showing up very late. She spent most of her time on her phone talking to her boyfriend and other people. We planned to stay up late but she went right to sleep. She spent all night snoring and farting very loudly. I got no sleep at all and my room stunk. She ended up leaving as soon as she woke up. I felt the whole thing was a complete waste of time and I do not want a repeat of this. We hardly talked and she was mostly concerned with trying to get me to drink alcohol. I tell her that I don't like drinking but for some reason everyone I know wants to see me get drunk.
I think I'm in love with him... No one is allowed to know, but I just want to scream to the world how much he means to me.
My friend and I are going on a trip. He has a coupon for the hotel, so he doesn't have to pay for the hotel night (one night, about $50) at all. I don't have a coupon, so I suggested that we split the $50 - he says, since he's the lucky one having it for free, he doesn't want to split it. I say it's cheap of him, he says it's cheap of me. I don't know who's right
My bestfriend and I have always pretended to be gay as a laugh, everyone knew that we werent but just pretwned that we were so new kids would get confused and think that we were in a relationship. The other day, we were walking home and he told me whe was gay. At first I thoght he was joking then i realised that he was being serious. I told him that I was completly fine with him being gay and had nothing against it. the next thing i know he kissed me but instead of pushing him away I acceptes it i held him in a bit longer. When we stopped I just looked at him and he said sorry and just walked away. Because of the kiss Im now confussed, I have no idea why he kissed me and I have no idea why I didnt stop him, Im sure Im not gay but I cant stop thinking about him and how much i liked the kiss...
People keep preaching how you shouldn't stay in a friendship that's making you sad, but I've gotten a lot of shit for following that advice. My friend is sick. Mentally. She has depression, some sort of other things I never really understood and at the end, even a chronical bodily illness. At our school, we were seen as THE bestie couple since 5th grade, until in senior year it became too much for me. I could never talk about MY problems because she wouldn't listen to it - what was my heartbreak against her need to take pills to have control over her body? She was barely there when I wanted to hang out, but I had to hang out with her when she wanted it, or else she got mad - after all, I could just cancel plans, she couldn't cancel panic attacks. I had to watch her cry, cheer her up, listen to her going on about how awful her conditions were all the time. And sure, she needed someone to console her, but it was making me be in a bad mood constantly, too. At the end, I couldn't take it anymore, and ended our friendship. I tried doing it not abruptly, but slowly so it would hurt less, but she confronted me and I couldn't lie to her when she asked if I'd always be there for her. Well, popular as she was at school, a lot of people hated me and asked me how I could to that to her, because she was so miserable already. I often wonder if what I did was being a shitty friend, or if it was taking care of myself. I guess both is true, but one more.
I try my damn best to become a more likable person. I've started to take care of my appearance to make myself more confident. I stopped assuming that every time someone says something I can't hear it's shit talk about me. I started saying yes or at least considering the plans instead of saying no by default. I stopped telling people shitty excuses to cancel plans and actually dragged my ass off the couch. I even put an effort into talking to new people instead of hiding from them behind my phone. So why is my life getting worse? Why am I having less friends that ever before, why do the ones I have don't seem to want me on their parties anymore? I don't know what to do. If this continues, I will be all by myself in a few years, spent every Friday night crying and drinking on my own. I don't want this.