After all these years Im gonna say good bye...Will i regret this?
hmmm should i leave her alone or should i send her a meme...choices.....
I'm not sure how to have friends. Most of the people I know only talk to me when they need something or to check if they still have a foot in the door. I think I'm boring. I think I crave attention. I literally have to tell myself to stop caring about someone so I dont end up texting them a second time because they haven't replied but read. At work I listen to YouTube videos on what not to do, how not to act around girls, or how to be more interesting. I study body language so I can tell if someone wants to escape a conversation, even been looking into micro-expressions. I dont know how to be social still but I can tell what someone is feeling from a distance. I can tell when someone needs a hug or if they're going through emotions. I know all these things but dont know how to talk to people because now I can tell when their umcomfortable.. sighs.
I'm the kind of person who don't have a lot of friends. I don't also have a social media except Youtube and Snapchat (no one even bother to respond at me here). I also don't watch TV and use my laptop only for youtube and learning things and school work. So I lived in a farm with no technology for one year with other 4 more people. Most of them didn't survive. One only stayed for 3 months and went back to where he came from. Some get so frustrated that they're so eager to use their smartphones. To me though, I made new friends, and the life there made me not use my smartphone more but living there also got me ended up creating Instagram, Twitter, and reviving my FB. I just learned how technology is really a part of society and nobody can live and think now without it. Me I can but socially wise, it's the key to make a connection and the only key to get away from depression (cuz I'm alone and friendless). So I have to adapt too... Cuz having people around makes me happier....
I prefer being alone than being with people who are just plain out disrespectful and debative as well as well being with people who treats me horribly. I'll just have to work hard to find good ones.
Sometimes when awkwardness happens, I just break the ice. It makes it more awkward to some people but to me it's less awkward just by the fact that awkwardness is a human thing and breaking the ice just illustrate how much of a human we really are. Silly and always silly.
80% of the people in my contact list probably have no idea that I have their number or don't even remember who I am and would definitely be bewildered if they knew I have their number saved. I only keep them in my list in case someone I meet ever gets a look into my contact list, because it would be too embarrassing to have only 10 contacts, of which 8 are "mum", "granny" etc.
It's a horrible feeling to have your friends slowly drifting away from you. To notice that you're more often calling them than the other way around, until they stop replying to your texts altogether. To see them do things in their social media stories that you used to do with them, but now they're doing it with other friends. I don't know where I went wrong to lose them, maybe it's the distance. I miss the old times.
I have a friend name Felicia. And I dont like shouting the phrase "bye felicia!" When she's away leaving to her next class. Im more uncomfortable than she is. But thats how she became popular with her name. But nobody uses the phrase in my whole school especially in fromt of her because if someone say it, she's like, "bruh im not going anywhere!"
I'm so terrified of pushing him away. I just want to be nice, but I'm trying so hard to not overdo it because I don't want to seem creepy. I want to make it clear that I'm just trying to be friends with him, but I don't want him to think I'm not interested in him romantically, because I am. But I don't know if he likes me back, and I'd rather never tell him and just be friends than confess my feelings and risk losing him for good. And if he ends up telling me he likes me, then I'm absolutely going to be honest with him. But until then... just friends is good. It's great. I'm happy as long as he's happy.