People always keep telling you that no matter what, they're truthfully vowing to stay with you, no matter what happens - but the moment you're gone and away you can just them all acting as they normally would. It's kind of a good thing, but on another note - it turns those heartful promises and words into "emotional quickies" that they give you just in the moments you needed them the most. No one really cared about me, even when it was too late.
When you love like I'm loving somebody's gotta hate you
I have a friend who is annoying and quite a hypocrite. Otherwise I like her, obviously, but those two things are getting out of hand lately. She's having exams currently, and every day I get about 5 messages of her saying how stressed out she is, how she's never going to make it, how she'll have to drop out and live on the streets... thing is, she's smart and always gets good grades. She already got back some exam results (exams she stressed over, too) and they're all straight A's. So, especially as someone who REALLY struggles with exams and gets a lot of D's and F's, this alone annoys me a lot. But what makes it worse is the fact that the other 5 messages she sends me are her complaining about two other girls in her major, who stress about exams although they're smart. She literally complains about other people doing what she's doing herself. I'm really close to loosing my shit and tell her how ridiculous she is, but I don't think I should do that because she's quite sensitive. I just hope that she will stop complaining when exams are over.
My friends thought I was lying about my relationship because they never saw a picture of me and my boyfriend, in Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram etc. They said I never really showed them a picture of us. And I can't show them anything because I don't have a picture of us in my phone because I love the feeling of emptiness in my phone and putting everything in one place. Plus I'm very private with my relationship with my boyfriend. Well not boyfriend anymore because today he proposed to me so yeah it was my fiance. I wonder though if they saw me wearing a ring. They'd probably would think my ring is fake. For me I find it funny because I always have to prove myself that I'm telling the truth when I actually never tell lies to my friends. My fiance and I are actually getting married privately too like just his immediately family and mines. I'm a private person and I don't trust my chatty friends who always make stories about everything out of nowhere; so I never bothered to introduce them my fiance because they'd either talk shit to me about him or they'd criticize him awfully and ask a lot of sex questions which I don't like revealing because I find it way too personal. Plus, they cheat on each other's boyfriends like why??? Two of my friends literally fought in the mall because my friend 1 met my friend 2's boyfriend got drunk and started sleeping together and has been doing it ever since. And all of them vice versa cheats on each other and there's fights like what? every month? It's massive and I also wonder why am I friends with these people?
There's this guy I work with. He's really cool and I hope we can become good friends. But I also have a weird crush on him. I say weird because I have no interest in dating him; I just want to have sex with him. And it's not even necessarily that I have no interest in dating him, I just know we wouldn't work out together. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to do terrible, dirty things with him. Unfortunately I don't believe in friends with benefits, and even if I did, he's got a girlfriend, so I'd never do anything with him. I really just want to be his friend more than anything tbh.
honestly how do you become natural with people. How do you just talk? What talk do you talk about? Its so much hard work. I know many would just say "oh just do it." .... I know that but how do i think first before i actually make conversations? How can you be yourself? Im not an honest person because its either i have no normal thought to share, does not want them shared because they sound like im bragging or either they sound too depressing. I meet people but its either they would only talk to me like im an adult mother or would talk to me about stuff or ask insights. I want a personi can talk to like a normal human being woth heavy inside
This guy who I'm starting to become friends with came in to work today after having 5 or 6 beers at the bar with his friends. He was a lot more upbeat than usual. Makes me want to spend more time with him outside of work.
I make fursonas for friends and family just because I think it's fun to associate people with animals they remind me of. Sometimes they ask me to do it, but I mostly just do it for my own entertainment.
There's this friend of mine and he baffles me. He knows a lot of chicks because he's the artsy type and yet he remains single. I don't get it, he's almost forty! He's not gay or a virgin btw. He told me long ago that being in a relationship suffocates him. He's quite self centered too. But I mean... He's not a monk. Doesn't he need sex at least? He acts like he's superior to sex, masturbating and porn.
I feel like no one really believes in me anymore in any way - neither in the prospect of me being okay, nor in the actual prospect of there being things wrong with me - kind of a paradox. Ah, with friends like these...