im gay, i like my best friend and i confessed two months ago. she does lowkey flirt with me but she says she's straight. around two weeks ago though she told our group of friends that she's not sure about her sexuality and i insisted that she was straight. i know that what i did was wrong and rude but I'm selfish :( I didn't want her to say anything like that because i knew that she was leading me on. there was this one time where i tried to beat around the bush and lowkey tell her that she needs to reject me and get this over with. im pretty sure that she got the message but she changed topics. im sad, I don't want to suffer this again, I don't know what to do.
I fucked up. again. :)
I have a friend that graduated from a college abbreviated as STI. Sometimes my wildest thoughts came to make me think that my friend must be graduate of STI majoring in sex.ed.
I wish I could tell my best friend about the 47 year old Im seeing, I'm 18 years old. Not interested in him romantically, but finacially. I just don't know how long I can keep up this lifestyle and facade.
I am the most boring person on earth. And I feel like this isn't even exaggerated. I have nothing to talk about. All people always find something to talk about, but I don't. Everyone thinks I'm shy and don't talk because I'm afraid to do so, but the truth is, I don't have anything to say. I have only a few hobbies, which aren't worth discussing (it's reading and doing crossword puzzles, and unless someone read the exact book I'm currently reading, which never happens, it can't serve as a conversion topic). I don't do any exciting things, like travelling or whatever, because I don't want to. There's never some cool story happening to me. I don't have opinions on nearly anything, because I feel like I shouldn't have an opinion until I have all the facts, and I almost never have all the facts. So whenever someone starts a discussion, it's soon closed because I say "you might be right, I don't know". And then, in simple, every-day conversations, which don't have a specific topic, I just never know what to respond. Watching other people talk to each other, I always notice that they're asking questions or give a comment to what the other person said, to keep the talk going, but when someone tells me something, those questions or comments just don't come to my mind. It's not like I'm not interested, my mind is just empty. And then someone else says it, and I'm like "damn, I could've said that, it's so simple" but I just couldn't think of it. So, to put it in a nutshell, you can't have a conversation with me because I neither contribute any valuable information to a conversation nor do I keep it going by making someone else talk. I think the only reason why I still have a (tiny) social life is because my friends haven't noticed this yet.
Everyone talks about getting married and I'm here like, i don't want anything serious, don't necessarily feel like getting attatched. I just want to have fun and worry about myself.
My childhood friends and I got separated when we went to college, recently we all met again to spend a day together. And I was so ashamed of them because they turned into assholes. We were seeing a movie at the theater, and throughout the whole movie, they talked - but not even whispering, they talked at normal volume, which is basically like screaming when you're in a theater. They even looked at their phones. Then we went to a bar, and to get the waiters' attention, they literally snapped their fingers at them or shouted "hey, you!". And in general they were really loud all the time. When I tried to tell them to be more quiet, they said that they're just having fun like back in the good old days. Maybe I've become old and boring, but this is all so not okay.
I've been awake for almost 24 hours now, running on fumes, already at the point where I can't safely consume more caffeine. But I'm hanging out with my friend because A. I never get to see her anymore, and B. I don't have the heart to tell her the equivalent of "I'd rather go home and sleep than spend time with you."
He seemed genuinely surprised that I wanted a hug from him. He seemed so... relieved when I hugged him, like it was quenching a dying thirst. He hugged me tighter than he ever has, and for just a moment, it almost felt more like I was comforting him than casually giving him a friendly goodbye. But maybe it's all in my head.
I have a friend who really loves having make up on. I know that she only pretty and strong when she has some on, and that it's a little bit her hobby. The thing is, it just doesn't look good, and she obviously doesn't know. She's just not good at it, and it always looks a little sloppy, and she uses some styles that probably look awesome on the beauty gurus in youtube tutorials, but don't fit her face shape. I don't know if I should tell her, or if I should let her be to make her happy. Both seems like the right and wrong thing to do.