I did 7 poo's today. All rather normal solid logs, no sprinklers. I think that's a new record. Will be hard to beat. I'm writing this to document the significance of such a feat.
I deactivated my fb because I think the friends that are on it don't give af about my well being. I hate to be right cuz only 1 of my friends reach out to me to ask me how I am. Everyone else I called friends don't give af about how I'm doing. It's a shame...
I hate when people think you're their friend but you're really not. For some reason this happens to me often, and it always ends up putting me in the awkward situation of either pretending I'm their friend or being honest and telling them I'm not, which is incredibly hurtful... I never want to hurt people, especially when they've done nothing inherently wrong and they're just being overly nice. But if I barely talk to you or you just follow me online and like all of my posts, we're not BFFs. You're just a fan, and I appreciate you, but I'm not your friend. I don't really know you.
My best friend is a person I'd usually call an asshole and I just realized it. In my company, she doesn't act like an asshole - could be because we almost only do things alone. But lately she started telling me a lot about her new best friend at college. How they sit in the backrow and laugh about everything, and how "funny it is when all the people tell us to be quiet but we just can't shut up". How they gossip about everyone, even people they consider friends, but "it's not gossiping, it's just sharing information, haha". How she tells that one "ugly bitch" that she loves her so much just to get cake from her. How she thinks that gays are either disgusting, or, when they're attractive, the cutest thing ever. How she never asks how I'm doing, or listens to me, but rather just waits until I'm finished so she can tell her story, which is always way funnier than mine. I don't really know how to deal with this realization. It has become hard for me to keep a straight face when she tells me all this, but I know that telling her she's being an ass would end our friendship.
There’s this friend of mine and I we always fight. Like she does/says something and then I defend myself and then she says me defending myself wasn’t necessary but like??? Maybe I felt the need to defend myself??
I have a $30 gift card for a store I never buy something at. A friend lately mentioned that she needs something from that store, so I suggested giving her the gift card, she buys the thing with it and gives me the $30 in cash. She got really mad at that idea, or at least couldn't understand how I could have such an idea. Sure, it would've been nice of me to just give the card to her as a present; but I didn't because 30 is a lot for me. And for her, it isn't more work or anything to use the card. No negative outcome for her, but a positive one for me. So why be mad?
I have three best friends and we usually do everything together. Lately I haven't been such a good friend, because I struggle a bit with depression (difficult life situation). But I thought it's something friends go through together. However, today I met one of my friends coincidentally, and commented on how nice I think her new jacket is, and she said that she had bought it the day before when she and our other two friends went shopping and to the bar afterwards. Nobody had asked me if I wanted to come. This usually doesn't happen. It has never occurred that we thought "Oh let's do something just three of us". Never. Unless one person didn't have the time, or wouldn't enjoy the activity anyways. But we always went shopping and to the bar, all of us, and I enjoyed it. They must have actively decided to not ask me, because three people don't just coincidentally meet, decide to hang out all day and night AND forget to ask their mutual friend to come, too. I guess they got tired of me. This hurts a lot, because I have no other friends.
I think I finally got through to my cousin about respecting mine and my sister's property. I hope she keeps her word.
I keep having dreams about this guy I work with. In waking life, I know he's not the kind of person I could date. He's really hot and he can be super nice, but he has anger issues and is generally an asshole most of the time. He's a good friend, but I could never be in a relationship with him. And on top of that, he has a girlfriend and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even like me that much. But in my dreams, he keeps showing up and I keep falling in love with him. The dream version of him makes me feel happy and relaxed. It's just weird, and I wish I could figure out why I keep dreaming of him instead of my boyfriend when I don't even have a romantic interest in this guy.
My best friend wants to play cards with me all the time. That's cool, I really like playing cards with her. But I hate whenever we have to use one of her decks, because she never lets anyone shuffle them! She doesn't want the cards to get bent. I can understand wanting to take care of a special deck with emotional value, or wanting to keep collector cards/art cards in good condition. But most cards shouldn't be treated that delicately. They're SUPPOSED to be a little bent, they're supposed to wear down over time. You're supposed to USE them. And shuffling the cards in any way that doesn't bend/bridge them is extremely impractical and tedious. It takes forever to mix them up well. It's just frustrating that she seems to not understand that dollar store cards can get a little bent and it's not the end of the world. If they were meant to be pristine forever, nobody would actually play cards. It's a game, it's meant to be played with.