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I'm going to write my thoughts down here just for the sake of getting them out of my system and getting more insight in my own feelings: 8 years ago I was 17 and I met a guy I immediatly felt a connection with. I never fell in love easily but with him the butterflies hit my stomach right from the first glanse. He rapidly showed interest in me and for the short time we had to spend together (read: 9 days), we had a lot of fun. I knew that somehow I would never be the same person as before. I learned a lot from him about life. On our last day, we kissed and somehow I both felt scared and at peace. We didn't stay in contact with each other and both went on with our lives. I reconnected with my ex and he had a new girlfriend very soon after meeting each other. Now I am in a relationship with someone who I really love and cherish and want to start trying to have a child. This guy also seems to be in a happy relationship to with a nice girl now. However: even though we don't do anything to contact each other and live kinda far away, two curious things are happening: 1) I still think a lot about him and wonder what he is doing, what he would say about certain things, etc... and 2) somehow we meet eachother once (sometimes twice) a year without knewing the other person would be in that place. At those times we smile at each other as if we know each other very well and the connection is still there. One time at a bar, my only friend who knows about him was with me and she said he could not stop looking at me (so i'm not imagining things). I did nothing with that information, but I keep thinking about it. I do wonder how long things will be going on like this... Don't get me wrong: I do NOT intent on cheating on my current partner or leaving him for whatever reason. I already feel guilty for just thinking about someone else sometimes. I searched for explanations on both psychological sites and spiritual ones. But I'm nog a big believer of spiritual stuff (like soul mates and all) and psychology did not give any answers neither. For now, my own explanation is: we meet more than one person in our life who we really connect with. It is OK to aknowledge it when you meet such person while being in a relationship, but you do not have to act on it. As for me, I think he kinda figured this out too and just knows it could have worked out with me too, but life and maybe fate has decided otherwise, and that is OK. (This turned out longer than I expected... whoops!)

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  • You absolutely can connect with more than one person. Otherwise people who lost love could never find it again. And it's okay to connect with more than one person at the same time, as long as you're not hurting anyone in doing so.

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Merry Christmas everyone!! I don't carry on religion aspect but I like to take it as a resource the tale of Santa Claus and giving out presents to the good as a reward of all accomplishments and kindness. I'm thankful for the roof above my head, food on the table, family, and having the money to afford the things I want/need.

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I just want to wish anyone reading this a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. If things are good for you, I hope they stay that way. If this year was hard on you, I hope next year is better. I wish you all the best.

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It didn't take long to show what an arrogant ass you are... again. Well shame on me, I never learn.

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I wish I had enough friends- and a date- so I could throw a New Year's Eve party. Instead I'm going to watch the ball drop with a bottle of moscato in my hand.

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A really close friend of mine annoys me extremely lately. She complains. Just complains. All the time. Mainly about how she doesn't have a boyfriend and doesn't think she ever will, sometimes also about people at college, how they're all stupid and annoying (ironically her reason for hating them often is "they complain about their stupid little problems so often"). I don't know how to tell her that she's getting on my nerves without upsetting her (as you can probably tell she's quite unstable and I'm a little afraid that being too direct to her could make her... Do something stupid or at least make her sadder than I intend to. We're friends, after all).

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My friends and I saw a spirit one night. One of them died 3 years ago today and I'm just wondering why tf he hasn't visited me since he knows I can see spirits.....

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  • I believe spirits are real, but they're not dead people. They're their own creatures, perhaps living on a different plane of existence that thinly overlaps ours. I'm sure if your friend could visit you, he would. Don't hold it against him.

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so my husband has been fucking my "best friend" for about two months and she doesn't know that I know. we're poly and she knows this but she still went to him behind my back. he of course told me right away but I've waited to see if she'd tell me and she hasn't yet. I'm just upset that she feels the need to hide something from me JUST to hide it and that she's clearly not the friend I thought she was. she's due with her first baby in a couple weeks and if she hasn't told me by time she has him I'm cutting her off (which means he will too). to make it worse we've even had several conversations where I've expressed that I would be ok with it and that he doesn't do anything sexually without me knowing. she's constantly telling me to leave him too because "he doesn't love you like he says he does"...yeah he's not the one who's lying to me. (the only bright side is I getting excited about sharing him so at least I'm still getting something out of it.)

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  • I like romance as in "18th-19th-Century-Prose". You and your lifestyle sicken me and I think you should overthink polyamory forthwith.

  • maybe she knew your husband told you, so you already know. some people won't tell you something if you already know about it. now with that being said. my bestfriend slept with someone I was madly in love with and lied to me for 9months about it until I found out from someone else. and even after I knew, I confronted her and she lied about it for another 2 weeks.... so I know how you feel. and it's near impossible to forgive in those situations. it takes time, it takes a lot of heart and some aspects of it you aren't totally over. our friendship will never be the same. we still talk, I didn't cut her out completely. but I have moments where I feel bitter, where it's uncomfortable to be around her and it's hard to trust her again. if I were you, instead of waiting for her to say something confront her. saves u a lot of time and gives her a chance to say something about it. the comment below, the part about losing friends and not knowing why, i've had that happen a lot too...and some I still don't know what it was. but if someone thinks I hurt them or theirs something they don't like, i'd prefer the chance to change it or understand what happened. There's a lot to factor in and every situation is unique. but thats my 5cents

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I moved to a bigger city a bit over a year ago to go to university, and I love it when my parents send pictures of the cats to me. I really wish I could have taken my own cat with me when I moved out, but she's so used to a big house and a big yard that it'd feel wrong to make her live in a dorm room. My parents are happy to take care of her and the rest of them but I still miss them all.

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All my friends think I shouldn't be with my boyfriend. To be clear, my friends aren't assholes who try to interfere with my life; it took them quite a while to speak up because they didn't want to ruin it for me just because of an opinion they have. But then they slowly started questioning me about whether I'm *really* happy? And don't you, I don't know, want to try dating some other people before settling down? Recently they went as far as giving me an intervention. What really was the killing point for me though was when this one guy, who's dating my friend and had met my boyfriend and me for the very first time, later apparently said to her: "he's terrible, please tell your friend to ditch him". Like... It's one thing if my friends have this opinion, they might be biased, but if a total stranger has this impression upon meeting us the very first time... Now the thing is, I love my boyfriend and I don't see any problem in our relationship. I never did. But after this I do and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't even know what exactly it is that people don't like about us - they always say that they "can't really explain", but I guess they just don't want to so they don't hurt my feelings. I don't want to tell my boyfriend because it would hurt him a lot, so I don't have anyone to discuss this with and I don't know how to deal with it by myself. By the way, my family, on the other hand, love my boyfriend and constantly tell me that I should do everything to keep him.

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  • You could talk to your family.

  • Take a step back and look at everything. How does he treat you? How does he talk to you? How does he act around others, and is it different than how he acts when you're alone? How often does he try to tell you what to do? Does he ever hurt you, physically or emotionally? Does he ever twist things on you and always make you feel like you're at fault? And be honest with yourself. Really analyze why people might dislike him. Maybe it's nothing to do with how he treats you, maybe he's just got an abrasive personality. Maybe he has opinions that most people don't agree with. Maybe he's just loud. Maybe he's nice to you but mean to others. Some of my exes were like that. The best person to me, but awful to others, or just rude. After looking at all of this, if you genuinely don't see a problem, then don't listen to your friends. And if you do see some problems or red flags, maybe think about what that means for your relationship.

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