My former good friend and I haven't talked in quite a while. The last time we talked we had sort of a fight, not a bad one, but bad enough to not text again for a while. His birthday was last week, and I wrote him a really long and funny text, really thoughtful, even included how I want to meet up again. (Before anyone suggests I should've called - the text thing is a tradition for us and we never call.) Guess what? No answer back. None at all. I know he was online, I saw him writing about 20 "thank you"s to people wishing him happy birthday on Facebook so it can't be lack of time either. I just feel so unappreciated, it took me 10 full minutes to write this text and a lot of courage to be the one initiating contact again - how rude is it to not answer that? Because after a week, I lost hope that there's going to be a reply.
she called me at like 2 am, she was crying, she was upset, i got very annoyed- I hung up on her. I never text her and she doesn't text me. I called her and some spanish lady answered so I dont think this is her number anymore. i want to talk to her again but I don't know how
I have a reputation of being kind, I’ve been called “the nicest person” multiple people know and when I was saying I know very few genuinely nice people I was told that I am genuinely nice. Really I’m just a good lier who bends their personality to fit anyone’s ideal. I feel guilty about it sometimes because I’m very fake but it’s just the way I am.
I have only two friends and my birthday is in two weeks. I am quite ashamed about not being able to throw a party. Or even invite more than two people. I also was invited to their birthdays, and it was a big party in both cases, and now I come and don't know how to not make it sound like I have noone else when I tell them it's only us three. I've thought about not throwing a party at all, but that's also weird because I can't think of an excuse.
I was the first one of my friends to go to university, because all of them took a gap year. They always asked tons of questions about what uni is like, and I was happy about being asked because I was so excited about everything. You know, the way you get excited about something new happening to you and you can't wait to be asked about it and have everyone else be as excited as you are. Now they're all going, too, and keep telling me about it and I guess they also want me to ask them questions, I can imagine that they want to tell me everything about it just like I did... but I don't care. I just can't bring myself to ask or pretend to be excited for them, because I already know what uni is like, and that it's not that special. I don't know if that makes me a bad friend, or if that's just how it is and if they just have to find someone else to tell.
I got the money now I dont have to pretend anymore, fuck all of you.
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All friends I make abandon me sooner or later. So far it has happened with all except for two - and who knows when they'll leave. Sometimes it's my fault, for example because I don't hang out with them often enough, sometimes it's things like lack of mutual interests or distance. But sometimes I just have no idea. It's especially sad when friends I had since elementary school suddenly don't want to have anything to do with me anymore.
I feel like I love a ghost.... I was in love with a guy for over 3 years.. the kind of love that's addicting, that overwhelms you. but he changed the last 9months, he's unrecognizable as the same person. I hate him now. I hate who he is now. I still love the person he used to be. when I think of memories it still overwhelms me, I miss him. it's like he died. or like there's 2 people that are occupying the same body. I know who he is now, I'm not in denial of the fact that the person I love doesn't exist anymore... I just can't pretend he never existed. my heart still cares. my mom told me once that she felt like I died. the 6month old me, the 2 year old me, the 6 year old me... all those people died, she'll never see them again. I'm still her daughter, but I'm not THOSE daughters. and that's kind of how I feel. I love the guy I was in love with. but I hate the one that replaced him. if you've had someone you care about die, would u stop caring about them? does the pain stop? can you just say "well that's the past, no need to think about them again" no... and that's how I feel. I still love him, but the one I love is dead. replaced by this monster. so, I love a ghost.
I feel so stuck in life. seems like alot of ones my age have it together. I still can't figure out how to get to who I want to be.😩