This is gonna be kind of explicit, but: I've got a gay crush on this girl I'm friends with. And the feeling is mutual. We've agreed that we should totally hook up sometime, since her boyfriend is into girl-on-girl love and wants to watch. I'm so excited for both of us to find out what sex with a girl is like! So excited, in fact, that I masturbated thinking of it just now, and I had a squirting orgasm for the first time in ages. She's just so damn hot.
When my friend who I hadnt seen in a year committed suicide, I blamed myself. I still do. I have saved so many of my friends from the same fate, I dont know why I couldnt have just saved him too. I stopped talking to him, somwthing I regret. He started as a friend of my boyfriend, my boyfriend did some stuff and I left. I didnt want to make things awkward so I cut ties. Its my fault he is dead. When I first learned he died I told my mom and she said sorry for your loss before getting mad at me for not emptying dishwasher. I yelled back and her response is the thing that has hurt me the most. "You'd think after his death you would treat the people you love better" When I talked about this with my therapist I accidently told my mom how much this hurt and she gor mad at me again. She apologised but I feel it was only to make me shut up about it. Shes right afterall it is my fault. But it still hurts.
I feel like a liar as I search for diagnosis for my chronic illness. I am often in pain, have joint popping and numbness. Being very physically weak is difficult for me as I am a high school student and want to be able to help everyone but Im so tired and unstable. I near passed out all afternoon today and my friend who I normally walk with didnt care I was feeling ill and got mad for me asking to walk with her. She had a date. I was worried about passing out and getting hit by a car. I feel bad for being a burden. All i want to do is make them happy, but I need to be healthy.
I've messaged through Facebook a friend which I haven't spoken to in three yrs. She said that we're good dispite being me an asshole towards her and her husband. Then again I was attacking everyone at the time. I have a plan of getting together with my estranged friends one at the time.
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I've just looked at my spotify profile I haven't used in a about two years. I went through some though-shit since I regularly used spotify, but it caused a lot of heartache to listen to playlists which are barely relateable anymore, reminding me of treacherous "friends" that parted and one of the equally funniest and, sadly, mentally straining times of my life as of yet.
I actually like it when my siblings poke fun at me. Now that we've grown up they don't do it that often though, I wish they did. I'm the kind of person who likes to make jokes about anything, but especially about things that I like, so it feels like a compliment when someone I care about jokes about me.
y a aucun francais ici la ? 😒
Sometimes I think that my best (and only) friend is not very good to me. He acts like he has no consideration for me. Anything I say or do is meaninglessness.
I've cut myself from my friends because I felt I wasn't deserving of them anymore. They're regular adults with jobs and relationships while I depend solely on my mother when I'm almost 40.