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Oh yesterday I encountered a wrong number call some lady named Patricia called me on the phone asking to speak to some guy named Tom . She was saying that she was trying to sell her house and needed someone to come and inspect her house and take a look at her air conditioning system. That lady kept beeping in on my line ,as I text the lady on the phone telling her that she needed to stop fucking calling my damn phone .

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i went with a friend to deliver some weed and just realized im deep into some crazy weed shit, my poor backpack was fuckin full to the top with buds, we going to a small countryside town to deliver it to some long haired classic stoner looking dudes. today was funny as hell, tomorrow morning the same, deliver some drugs lmao

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i identify with five from tua, like if you too serious coffee addiction horrible personality short I always propose something and things come out otherwise weird fetishes

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I watched a hypno video on a porn site to check it out and get my girlfriend to watch. Well it turns out it does work, just not on her as of yet. Yep it worked alright and now I have a cock and cum craving. I have no idea how to tell her that this happened and I want to watch it again. Should I tell her and see what she says, or just try to watch it with her and not tell her about what happened?

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  • you were already gay to begin with

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my conservative aunt told me "nephew, I hope you don't get a dark skinned girlfriend", so I'm getting a dark skinned boyfriend instead 😄

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yesterday I was in zoom with 30 engineering students and experts while I was talking I was playing with a measuring tape so I accidentally hit my eye with that shit I want to disappear 4ever

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I played a joke on my sister's mom today

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  • what did you do spill the tea

  • did you fuck her?

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need tomboy to own my slutty boiholes

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I remember the first time I went to withdraw cash from an ATM I said "thank you" to the fucking thing

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U ever love someone so much you would brush and floss their own teeth for them

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