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yikes lmao i'd hate to be famous thank god I'm a nobody

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I watched a scary show for days and now I'm scared to go to the restroom alone how embarrassing

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backstory: I'm a woman who grew up to (legal) immigrants in poverty, neglected (not always fed, left alone), sexually abused (teachers, cousins, family friends) and awkward looking (children who are lovely are more cared for I think). After puberty I changed a lot physically and I wasn't used to the opportunities that created for me(not going to lie, I think I got a few internships and jobs because on an interviewers personal curiosity) . I was always bright. I had perfect scores on all my standardized tests and took my regents exams in 7th grade. Because of this one good thing, I was able to go to a prep school in new England and make up for all the scars of neglect by being socialized with wealthy children who were cared for. I got into college, but the setback in completion was that my family refused to help financially (wouldn't even fill out a fafsa) and I couldn't afford (monetarily or health wise) to keep going. I met an upper middle class middle aged man and spent several years with him, not using my potential, but feeling loved. After he left, reasonably so, I became lazy. I started at a call center making $8 an hour. then by some luck I ended up parlaying my partial academic career in psychology into a door toward social work. Not a lot of money, but spiritually fulfilling. I found God again. Did that for 3 years, in the meantime studying some new math and searching for myself and opportunities to discover myself. Figured out I can kind of code, ended up in a computer science program. met a male engineer in my age group that is so virtuous and kind and ambitious and encouraging.. he tells me he loves me... and so far I've built 3 of my own apps (just for school/passion, not on the play store) . I'm this close to getting out of this fucking nightmare and my anxiety is through the roof!!!!! Part of being institutionalized is being so used to disappointment and failure that success kind of hurts. just my $0.02

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  • Don't self sabotage girl! You deserve love and good things coming your way!

  • You're doing great. Don't give up on yourself.

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Two months ago I installed some apps that happened to be made by Russian developers, and since then I've been getting ads in Russian on all my apps. I don't even speak the language! Even in-game prices are shown in roubles... Even considering that I live pretty close to Russia, Google's algorithms sure are quick to jump to conclusions.

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  • I always get ads for eBay products, just that the ads are always articles that I uploaded to eBay myself. Google wants me to buy my own stuff

  • I noticed similar. I pirated some anime and now all my ads are "Hot Asian girls in your area want sex!"

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DJ Khaled's beard is straighter than my life...

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Watching My 600 Pound Life makes me crave donuts, milkshakes, pie, and pizza...

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I cant use my phone at work.. sometimes i just take my phone and sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes and relax a little bit while i play candy crush or surf on the internet.. it makes me hate my job less..

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Being someone who doesn't drink alcohol you constantly get asked why but not accepting the answer, people try to pressure you into drinking over and over, make fun of you, make it their little game to get you to drink tonight. But try reversing the whole thing, ask people why they drink, tell them with every drink they get that they shouldn't, make it your little game to pressure everyone into not drinking... things escalate pretty quickly. It was a fun family party for me, though I'm now in a mild fighting state with some distant relatives

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  • Hahahaha look at the balls on you! Admire that.

  • I feel you.

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I missed the feeling of having a boyfriend. It's been 7 years since the last time I'm in a relationship. Wow. Even me shocked.

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I confess that even now, after all these years, I still love the train wreck that is Twilight. I know it's not exactly the pinnacle of great writing, but I love it anyway.

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  • It's actually among my favourites too. I love the world and the flaws are overlookable for me. Most people just hate it because hating it is popular

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