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What I say: I'm going to the bathroom. What I mean: I'm gonna play Tetris for 45 minutes

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Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

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  • how is the cat brought back?

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I want to try anal but what if I end up shitting on his dick 🙄

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  • you have to wash your asshole. literally put water up there and let it come out. i have gay friends and they told me about it.

  • Honestly... if you guys can't handle a little poop then neither of you are ready for anal sex 😂

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Bro this girl is sooo annoying xD she asks me 'wyd' like every 5 seconds. She's relentless she never stops and there's no reason for her to stop cause i wanna hit it XD soooo baaaaad

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I was just reminiscing about my childhood and thought back to the hot cheetos craze. When I was in 3rd grade the lime hot cheetos came out and literally everyone from my school had them. I didn’t like spicy stuff and they low key made me cry it hurt so bad but I ate them just to fit in. Well one day they made me sick and I threw up hot cheetos all over in the middle of class. It was so embarrassing I didn’t want to go back. All that torture just to fit in. It was just funning remember all the old times when I was a kid and how much i’ve changed. I used to love pickle and bbq sauce sandwiches. I don’t know why but I thought pickles and bbq sauce on rye was the greatest thing. Now I don’t even eat pickles at all. Anybody else have any crazy childhood foods?

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  • Heinz green ketchup

  • Whenever I ate ravioli, I HAD to pick apart every single piece and eat the flat side, then the filling, then the other side. idk why I felt the need to do that.

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i know every girl my"man" talks to online. should i tell him i know? or make him delete them from EVERYTHING. It's so embarrassing

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I just lost $70 U.S currency at the Skagit Casino, laaaaame.

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I know this is kinda weird, so I never admit it to people... but honestly a lot of the time, I prefer the taste of uncooked dough or batter more than the baked end result. Cake batter is better than cake. Pizza dough is better than baked crust. I don't know why I like it better, I just do? And it's not like I dislike it once it's baked, I just like it a little bit less. This results in me usually partially undercooking my baked goods, but no one's ever complained.

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  • Most people love cookie dough or cake batter, I've never heard of anyone not loving it (there surely are people, it's just not common). I've never heard of someone liking pizza dough more than pizza, though.

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I guess my take on the classical " "Impossible task" i'd do for her" would be: "I'd slay gods, if that is what it takes to be with her". it's too strange and awkward to ever say, but, let that be clear, it is true.

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  • Here’s an impossible task: eat healthy, exercise and maintain a <10% BMI. Graduate and get into a good career with benefits. Save your money. Once you become a decent guy with real financial stability you’ll have to beat the pussy back with a stick.

  • Wow..that's kind of beautiful huh?

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Dick is like mcdonalds... you only want it when you’re desperate.

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  • Actually... I really... like dick. Pussy is great too tbh

  • Untrue. D I c k is good...its the man behind it I want to be better. Anyone can have a swinging di.c.k. whoopeedoo. Tired of those who only think with it. I need more than just that...but no one cares about me the person..just my twat.

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