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I guess my take on the classical " "Impossible task" i'd do for her" would be: "I'd slay gods, if that is what it takes to be with her". it's too strange and awkward to ever say, but, let that be clear, it is true.

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  • Here’s an impossible task: eat healthy, exercise and maintain a <10% BMI. Graduate and get into a good career with benefits. Save your money. Once you become a decent guy with real financial stability you’ll have to beat the pussy back with a stick.

  • Wow..that's kind of beautiful huh?

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Dick is like mcdonalds... you only want it when you’re desperate.

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  • Actually... I really... like dick. Pussy is great too tbh

  • Untrue. D I c k is good...its the man behind it I want to be better. Anyone can have a swinging di.c.k. whoopeedoo. Tired of those who only think with it. I need more than just that...but no one cares about me the person..just my twat.

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I want to go on the tv show big brother.My strategy would be to sleep with all the strong guys in the house. None of them will put me up and none of them will vote me out. They won’t see me as a threat and I could win a comp if I was desperate enough. Yeah it looks bad but for 500k why not. I have sex for free anyways why not get something out of it.

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  • um until it's just you and all the strong guys you slept with in the house, then YOU'RE out. people aren't that stupid. plus how helpful would u be with any of the challenges at that point? not very.

  • No offense but I hate that show lmao. But hey good luck my dude! Win that cash!

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I have an A-line bob cut and when I put it in a ponytail it looks like the tail of a swallow.

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  • Sounds like it's got potential! Make a nice style out of that!

  • I have a grown out A-line (down past my shoulders now) and yeah they can look a little funky in certain styles. Just have to fiddle with it a bit and twist some things around. Unless you like the swallow look in which case keep on rockin it.

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I collect ducks from the cran machines at Denny's restaurant. I have 8 on my dash board of my car. I have a elephant duck, giraffe duck, rooster duck, robot duck, surf board duck, and this really fucked up/wasted looking one. lmao I can't stop getting them. I secretly slip them into my friends bags when they're not looking.

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  • I also write funny things on the bottom of the ducks lmao, the rooster one I wrote, "suck my cock" ahahah I'm female btw, just thought it totally went with it.

  • I collect rubber ducks too!!!

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When I was a junior in high school, (2010) I made a birthday cake for my math teacher (64years old) and my whole math class. I put a fat brick of weed butter in the cake mix. I never told any of them. They loved the cake though, it got devoured.

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  • Okay I know a lot of people will find this funny and will tell me I'm a pussy for not being able to take a joke, but putting something in someone's food is one of the pranks that go too far. I've heard of people literally having to go to the hospital, people losing their jobs or license (can't remember which) because of drug tests, just because someone thought it was funny to give them weed brownies or regular milk instead of soy and so on. And even if it doesn't have bad consequences, it's still not okay to make a person consume something they don't want (also the same as making a vegan eat meat by telling them it's tofu). I just think it's not okay.

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when your friends are so excited for your 21st birthday because you can finally drink along with them. Like yeah I wanna know how Bourbon tastes like I'm too intrigued.

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  • It’s tastes like paint thinner. You don’t drink bourbon for the flavor, you drink it because life is pain and anything that can numb you for a little while is a godsend.

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my wisdom teeth are coming in.. & I think it's pinching a nerve because that side of my head hurts now. like my ear and head ace, fml I'm falling apart and I'm only 25f, I hope I sleep the pain off.

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  • That's pretty normal, even without pinching a nerve. Please get to a dentist ASAP, my mom put off getting hers pulled and it grew into her jawbone and she had to get part of that removed.

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Trying to use a restroom in public. In almost the last stall, alone. Two girls walk in and use the stalls on either side of me. Why? Why??? Literally every other stall is open, and I know the one to the left of me is dirty, cause I almost went in that one. Wtf my dudes I'm just trying to poop in peace

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  • “WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR?!”

  • Shit as loud as you can to disturb them

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I've had no sex drive for months. I haven't even had the urge to masturbate, and even when I'd try just to see if I could get the gears going, it was just unenjoyable because I couldn't get wet. But I finally got my drive back and I'm so damn glad I could finally get off. Mentally, the desire was there, but physically, I just couldn't get myself in the mood. Only problem now is I'm constantly horny.

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  • How did you get it back?

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