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This girl has been in my life for so long lately we've been estranged but I had dream a few weeks ago that was kinda funny I was outside in my front yard and this chick just crash lands in my yard and gets up like it was nothing, I woke up lmaoing

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When I was a kid so many girls would fall in love with my eyes like a bunch of school girls even full grown wemon. to this day I can tell it's the same but they don't get all weird sure glad something changed I was told like three times before 5th grade my eyes were so beautiful they wanted to gauge them out.

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  • eye shape or color? both? what about eyelashes? I need deetz!

  • My ass used to be green and everybody was way nicer to me, around 16 they started to change and now they're brown and i look like average ugly guy

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I been juggling two girls and now im fucked up. The girl i liked the most told me she had a boyfriend so i started paying attention and getting close with this other girl but yesterday the girl I originally liked told me she was talking with another guy but nothing was official and she was starting to get feelings for me. I want to persue the original girl i wanted but 1) im afraid she’s flip floppy and 2) I don’t want to hurt the 2nd girls feeling. I didn’t say anything was official but i was flirting with her a lot and even told her i was feeling her. I don’t know if i should go for the girl i wanted that didn’t want me but now does or the girl that wanted me that i was okay with

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  • First girl is stringing you along. She will never fuck you. Go after second girl and start looking for #3 Incase # 2 don’t work out

  • You don't deserve either of these girls. You just want them around to not be alone.

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I had a naughty dream about my best friends boyfriend. I want to tell her but im scared she’ll tell him about it and make things weird. I know whe wont be mad or upset by it because we’ve been friends a really long time and have both had dreams with each others family members or boyfriends before.

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  • Eh not worth telling her tbh

  • subconsciously you think talking to them about it will make it more likely that somehow you two will actually fuck. stop thinking with your pussy you dumb ass

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i thought it was funny that my ex-girlfriend parents forced my ex-girlfriend to name her son (not my son) after me because she cheated on me and actually told everyone that i cheated on her

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  • Why are your ex-whores parents naming the kid? Did her dad fuck her or something?

  • Wtf lmao.

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I was going to put my Redbox movie back. I workout at home. I still have on my workout clothes. There is a handsome guy outside, that works there, taking a smoke break. I have on workout pants that show the calves and lower. I wear pants all the time, so I don't shave my legs. I refuse to get out of the car. I'll come back later. My legs look so unruly. Lol....Oh...wait...he just went back in the store. Thank goodness.

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  • Wait till he finds-out girls have hair on their crotch!

  • Lmao dude if he can't handle leg hair, he's not worth your time

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I always told my boyfriend that if we did not work out, I would marry for money. Well, we didn't work out.

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  • I see no problem marryibg for money if the person knows you r & is fine with it

  • That kind of relationship will only make you and your partner depressed.

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When members of my family would be particularly nasty to me as a child, I would steal random boxes from them, take the boxes into the shower, poop in them, and put them right back.

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I had probably the best fart crescendo in my life and no one else heard it. What a shame. It didn't really stink but it sounded almost musical.

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I like f**k with a full bladder so after I n*t i get double the relief C;

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  • I foresee a very wet bed, that you may need to buy a new mattress.

  • That's... honestly kind of hot. Except that you censored the words and used that smiley face lol, makes you seem like a kid

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