I got a notification that someone requested to follow me on Instagram so I go check out this person and I have no idea who she is. However, her bio says something about "stealing your girl" so I'm like yes okay this is good, but I can't figure out whether she lives close to me or not. So I go through her pictures to see whether she's tagged a place or has a location on a picture of something I know, and she hasn't. So I then find a picture where she's tagged some friends, and go through their pictures, and find one that says she lives in Florida. I live in the uk. I am just destined to have no love life
I don't understand why nobody hits on me until I get into a relationship. Once I'm no longer single, it's like everyone starts flirting with me. Why am I only attractive when I'm taken?!
I'm 23 years old, turning 24 next month, and I just spent at least 5 minutes entertaining myself with making fart noises against my hand and arm. I'd keep doing that, but I'm in my car at work. I gotta come back from lunch soon.
I want a car, that was made the year I was born.
Hallmark Christmas movies are the WORST, but I love watching them because it's funny how bad they are, and guessing the entire end after the first 20 minutes is a fun game. I am ashamed to admit I spend my Sunday nights watching hours of these films.
Why do pescatarians say that they don’t eat meat? Not all do, but I’ve met plenty who say that they don’t eat meat, and then they go ahead and eat fish. Same with people who don’t eat red meat. Y’all are still eating animals, stop saying that you’re vegetarian. Smh.
I've been eating liver sausage and now my poop smells like it
how bout thus nigga talks 2 me like im trash in someone else's phone, then tells me to quit dodging him. wtf?!
I asked my professor if he's ever attracted to Kim Kardashian and he just told me, "I'm a Biology professor for god's sake! I study real organic creatures and how they work." I told him, " didn't you covered synthesis?" He said, "yeah but engineering isn't my field. Not really my favorite thing."
You know when you go to a public restroom and there's a nice log there waiting for you? I did that. I'm that guy. It's an addiction.