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One of my family's cats tends to snort really loud whenever she's annoyed. Kind of funny because it's such a human-like behavior.

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I did a bedtime routine yoga routine and let out the loudest, bubbliest, stinkiest fart. I just had to sit there for a minute saying "oh lawd. Oh LAWD". I'm really glad I don't go to yoga classes or workout in public. Seriously the smell lingered for like 10 minutes.

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  • Class is dismissed. 🤣

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Neither me nor cats like onions😂

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  • Onions are even poisonous to cats.

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my life is so fucking boring and predictable like a cliche chick flick that sometimes i think my life is just setting me up for shit to go down like an action packed climax, or maybe i'm just desperate. just give me something i'll gladly take it i have no life.

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  • Then try to prepare for the issues that are to come!

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This is more of a "today I f****d up" kind of thing, though it happened yesterday. My wife and I were at the pool, loads of people around. At one point I let my mind wander, and so did my eyes. Apparently I was "staring" at some woman's bottoms and my wife got mad. The thing is I was really zoned out, I wasn't even looking at whoever was there. *sigh*

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  • Just say you just looking at twinglobes, it's nothing special.

  • I do the same thing sometimes... just space out, not really looking at anything, but it looks like I'm staring intently. Your wife is the one with a problem if she really got upset over that- it shows that she's insecure and afraid you'll leave her for someone 'better'. Any normal, healthy person should be able to handle their partner looking at someone. It's just looking.

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My English teacher tricked us, giving us a a fake spelling test. I downloaded an irregular amount of apps so I could learn Greek because of it.

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So my coworkers are discussing their plans for winning the lottery and I'm the odd one. Woman says, "I'm gonna donate to the animal shelters." Man says, "I'm gonna buy all the cars and guns I always wanted." I'm all like, "I'm going to buy a pirate ship and a Blimp, combine them into an airship, and rule the air with my team of sky-pirates (or Skyrates for short)" I guess there are 2 kinds of people in the world.

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Boy oh boy last night was a wild one. woooooweeeeeeeee!

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popular unpopular opinion: i love how college degree snobs try to pressure you to go to college to validate their time there. saying "oh do u want to spend your life in retail? do u want a real job" but the joke is I know lots of people with a mountain of debt for some flimsy area of study with a degree that is i useless to the market working retail. and the other joke is automation is STILL coming for a lot of jobs that used to need "educated" people. so you'll actually be behind your non degree having counterparts in 5-10 years in terms of wealth. Many of the major tech companies aren't requiring CS degrees anymore (this is my new field) and my previous area of work as a counselor, I was strategic about padding my resume with volunteering in the areas of health community and domestic violence. After the college admissions scandal, things are even more funny. College has allowed a lot of uninteresting indistinguishable mentally lazy no drive or hustle having people get really comfortable feeling like they did something really unique and difficult but all you did is go down the road most traveled until people came trampling in over you.

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  • I personally don’t think it’s funny that we’re in such a fucked up system. What’s a 16 year old going to do when everyone keeps threatening them, saying their life will be ruined if they don’t go to college? It’s sad, I know so many people who hate their degrees and never wanted to go in the first place but did do our if fear of ruining their prospects.

  • I do think college can benefit its students, but I also don't think it's for everyone. Trade schools are a thing too, many people don't know that. And I don't understand why people have such a low opinion on retail, cleaning and other manual/service work. They're a necessary part of society.

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I was captioning a video and someone said something over someone else. I need to caption everything said but I couldn't understand what she said. I started looking for the captions button before I realized, "Oh dang, that's me. I'm the caption person".

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