My dad walks barefoot a lot (in the garden) and has really hard horny skin on his feet that's really scratchy. When moving around in his sleep, he scratches on the bed sheets, which leaves a lot of small holes on his side of the bed sheet. When I was a child, I didn't make the connection and asked my mom about it; she told me as a joke that the holes are there because my dad farts too much. Since then I always was afraid to fart when I had clothes on because I feared getting holes in them, and whenever someone else has holes in their bed sheets or pants, my first thought is still "they farted too heavily"

A few years back my mother disowned me. She didn't approve of my marriage or our children. Tried to bribe my wife to abort our son. So she disowned me and adopted her bf's bastard son to replace me. This weekend I got the news. Her boyfriend left her at the urging of his son to run off with a new woman. Now she's all alone as my wife and I celebrate our 10th anniversary. As the Germans would say Schadenfreude is the sweetest of all freudes. SUCK IT BITCH!

I’m so choosy when it comes to reading English books. I only want to read the ones that are written by native speakers.

I feel aweful for laughing. but it's mildly funny. I feel aweful it happened and that it'll cost them a lot of money. but there's some irony that's prettt funny. so my in laws have 2 pick up trucks, identical, that they care more about than their children as far as i'm concerned. trucks are meant to be used and to haul things, transport things. but not these ones. they want nothing to touch them ever. they've never hauled anything with it. never been on a bad road with it. they've taken the long way to get somewhere cuz a road had too many potholes. they park taking up 2-3 spots so no other cars touch them. if the kids do have to go in the truck they tell them to keep the door open, they'll shut it cuz they dont want them to end up "slamming it shut". one day I thought they were going to kill one of the kids when they found a scratch on the FOOT plate. you know, where you climb into the truck. the thing that ur feet go on to get into the truck. who the hell cares if there's a scratch there?! not to mention these are 2012 trucks. not 2018s. anyways after all that precaution, after being totally rediculous with how they drove the trucks and the amount they've screamed at their kids. we had a storm last night and a tree fell on both, one is totalled and the other is gonna need some serious work to it... as I said. it's aweful it happened, it's gonna cost a lot, I feel bad... but the irony is pretty funny. a scratch on the foot plate doesn't really matter now does it?

I've been farting a lot this past week. They're loud and long. What the hell is wrong with my lower intestine?

hiii guys please download the app which is the user can answer the question and everyday is there will be a new question in the squares it's easy the app name is (CARRES) thanks

why do we still wonder if people like us? fuck them and live your life!!!

theres so many reasons why I would not finance a car. one being that if you pay the full thing off, depending how long it took, you really paid off 2-3 cars. another is that if you want to sell or trade it in with money still owing. you only get about 1/2 of what you still owe on it. so if its a 20k car, they would give you 10k for it and you would still owe 10k and you're short a car. like how fucking crooked. not sure why so many people think this is the best way to own a car

I used to work with a Fundie Baptist woman who was besties with a Sunni Muslim woman. They used to laugh at the normies & their kids would play together. It makes sense because both religions are iconoclastic, don't like alcohol, and the women wear dresses so they don't have many other friends. It's funny because this is exactly the multi-cultural stuff the SJWs claim they want, but they spent most of their time ridiculing the libs. These girls need their own sitcom.

I don't know, but I've lost my natural ability to pronounce the english "soft th"-sound correctly as I grew up. My tongue somehow changed it's proportions in puberty and over the last few month, and still, I have to retrain pronouncing that without spitting, because it stands in my way of getting an A/1 in english. The bizarre thing is, I start to like the sound of my, now obvious, german accent. Phonetically, the letter "ß" (best described as a "hissing s sound") is a valid substitute for "th" in my opinion, it just makes it so much easier to talk freely.